Dirtius Familius

About all those reunion pics

2011-06-14T21:29:00.000-06:00

So, we had a family reunion. There were glitches, and we missed out on seeing too many people. But it was wonderful. And now we know better how to get it done.

I'm thinking one of the Dale and Margaret children (and their family) should come up with a plan for the next one and we can delegate and share the cost between everyone. That way nobody spends too much time or money getting it together, and no one person or family feels completely responsible for doing everything.

It almost fell apart in the last few days before it happened, but we did pull it off. And it was wonderful. I can't tell you how happy I am to have been born into such a loving and amazing family. I am blessed.

Hardman Family reunion, June 13, 2011 (day 4)

2011-06-14T21:21:00.000-06:00

Hardman Family reunion, June 12, 2011 (day 3)

2011-06-14T20:53:00.000-06:00

Hardman Family reunion, June 11, 2011 (day 2)

2011-06-14T20:50:00.001-06:00

Hardman Family reunion, June 10, 2011 (day 1)

2011-06-14T20:29:00.000-06:00

courtesy of Brandi

2011-05-01T22:57:00.000-06:00

Brandi's pizza (that looks amazing so I have to save the recipe and try it out myself)

Use your favorite pizza dough (tonight I used Pillsbury from a pop-can, but normally I use a half whole wheat dough recipe). Pre-bake it for 5 or 6 minutes.
Spread a white cheese sauce all over the crust. I normally use this... recipe--
{2 tablespoons butter; 2 tablespoons flour; 1 1/4 cups milk, heated; Sea Salt; Ground pepper; 1/2 cup grated fontina cheese (you could use mozzarella or jack or any soft-ish white cheese.
Melt the butter in a heavy-bottomed saucepan. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring constantly, until the paste cooks and bubbles a bit, but don't let it brown — about 2 minutes. Add the hot milk, continuing to stir as the sauce thickens. Bring it to a boil. Add salt and pepper to taste, lower the heat, and cook, stirring for 2 to 3 minutes more. Add cheese, stir constantly until melted.}
HOWEVER, I had a coupon for a free container of the new Philly Cooking Cream, so tonight I used that (in the savory garlic flavor) instead. And let me tell you, it was SOOOOO good. I know a lot of you prefer homemade over packaged foods, but the Philly Cooking Cream was FANTASTIC.
So anyway, after you spread around the white sauce, top it with half a bag of shredded mozzarella (I used Kraft Italian 5 Cheese blend). Top with cooked and shredded chicken breast and thinly sliced FRESH asparagus (cooked or canned would be gross). Top with the remaining cheese. Bake at whatever temp your crust called for until the cheese is melted and bubbly.
Then take it out behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

It would be good with tomatoes. And BACON. It kind of cries out for bacon

Baby food

2011-04-23T00:15:00.003-06:00

I found a recipe online for cake using baby food. Kind of like banana bread in texture and flavor, depending on what baby food you use. I did pear and it was awesome. I did peach the next day at my sister's house and the kids ate it very quickly. I liked the pear better.

Today with another sister visiting I decided I needed to use the baby cereal too. So I turned to Chef Google and came up with a recipe. I had to tweak it slightly, but the cookies turned out super yummy. I'll definitely be making them again, since Oscar doesn't eat baby cereal.

Here it is...

Oatmeal Baby Cereal Cookies

2 C flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking powder
2 1/2 C baby oatmeal cereal
2 eggs
1 C white sugar
1 C brown sugar
1/2 C oil
1 tsp vanilla

If you stop here your dough will be super dry. I added milk till it was moist and stuck together - between 1/4 cup and 1/2 cup. I didn't measure so I'm not positive. Also, the recipe I found said you could do between 2 1/2 and 3 cups of cereal. I did somewhere in between.

I know most recipes tell you to mix the wet and dry ingredients separately, but it works just fine to throw it all together.

Spray your cookie sheet and drop your cookie dough in mounds. Bake for about 15 minutes at 350 degrees.

Lots of pics to catch up

2011-04-17T20:58:00.004-06:00

Made this for the ward activity. They were gone in less than 5 minutes.

Oz being cute.

Surprise!

Scooting backwards. Still no crawling.

My sometimes awesome bed head sometimes looks like this.

Even better than my bed head is his.

The foyer of the hotel where we stayed on our anniversary trip. Green Valley Ranch Resort in LV.

Next to the pool at our hotel.

The pool. The dark and then tan is sand.

I put all the Disneyland pics up on Facebook. I probably ought to put them here too.

A new beginning

2011-03-16T14:25:00.002-06:00

Yeah, I know it's the middle of March. I didn't make any New Year's Resolutions. I wasn't ready to commit to anything at all. Now I feel like more than just wanting, I actually have the motivation to do stuff.

The past 9 months have been especially difficult for me. I figured out that once I hit the 6 month mark in my pregnancy I can't do much anymore. We were incredibly blessed to find Danielle - a girl in our ward who lives just down the street - who was willing to come and help out for very little money. Once Oscar was born, Brent and I both decided that to preserve sanity we wanted Danielle to keep coming.

Now, Oscar is almost 7 months old, the kids call her Dan-oh or Dan-yoh, and she's right this moment washing dishes in my kitchen. I'm totally in love. I'm pretty sure I couldn't do another pregnancy without her (or someone very similar). Life-saving. Or at least sanity-saving.

So, changes.

1. Last night I actually enforced the kids sleeping in their own beds. First time ever. Of course, Amelia got up in the middle of the night and Brent comforted her through the night. Like for a few hours. Sadly, that woke me anyway (I'm a super light sleeper), but at least I didn't have to hold on to her all night long so she didn't throw herself off my chair onto her head while she was sleeping. I'm going to continue to enforce. As much as I would love to snuggle with my kids all night, I just can't sleep. And that's not an option.

2. On Saturday I went to the open casting call for Biggest Loser. I didn't get a callback. But like my cousin (who went with me), I figure if I can commit to a show, I should be able to do the work on my own. As nice as it would be to have someone pushing me hard (and I totally know I could lose like 150+ pounds), I need to just buck up and get to work. I have the tools I need. I've started blogging again on my saygoodbyefatty.blogspot.com blog again in anticipation of this particular change.

3. Blogging. Yeah, this one is already obvious. Another way to be accountable.

4. Organizing my house. I'm going to start collecting stuff for a giant yard sale this summer. I'm going to finally decorate my living room and bedroom. I'm going to re-do some of the work Darla helped me start when I was pregnant and get the rest of my house in order. News of disasters in the world (and broken kitchen pipes, dang it) make me want to be MUCH better prepared.

5. Gotta rip the carpet out of the office. This is a necessity because of the recent flood we had. 30+ year old carpet and padding means that getting wet is a really bad thing. Sadly, that's the room in the house that most desperately needs organizing. And it's packed with stuff. This is going to be a huge project.

6. Time to get back on the wagon with churchy stuff. You know, daily scripture reading and prayers. FHE, etc. I need to do this for myself. I need to do this for my family.

7. At the back of my mind for a very long time has been the desire to do couponing. I know someone can spend a LOT of time doing it, but I'm pretty sure that it would be worth my time and would help us out financially too.

8. In about 2 years, when our family debt is almost gone, I want to go on an adventure. And I'm not talking about a vacation. I want to move. Like to South America. Or Florida. If Brent's still working for the same company, then all we need is an internet connection. Time to work on the organization (yard sale - get rid of all our extra stuff), in addition to the debt and long-term plans.

Yeah, I'm excited. Oscar has been taking a nice long nap and he's starting to stir. I guess I should get dressed while I still have the chance. If I hadn't lost the cord to my camera (again!!!), I'd be posting pictures. Maybe I'll post some older ones (next time - Oscar is awake).

Birthday Hat, Play Date at the mall, and another Flood

2011-03-08T23:27:00.005-07:00

I'm trying to be creative. I've always known Felix had a huge head, but I underestimated and it was tight on him. I ended up taking out the elastic and he wore it happily for a few hours till it kept falling down.
We spent an afternoon at the Provo Mall with Miranda and a friend of hers. We even took a ride on the little train that goes around the mall. The kids loved it!
Friday night while at my sister's house, mom called to tell me that there was a flood. A pipe taking water to the kitchen sink broke and gushed for probably an hour or two before she found it. The entire back half of the house was totally flooded. This picture was taken after 2 hours spent with two shop vacs. In the kids' room, the only thing ruined was a book (not one of my favorites, thank goodness). In the kitchen the only thing ruined was a giant unopened bag of sugar. My juicer was on the floor and has been drying out on the back patio. We'll see if that survives. There was wood in the hallway that got soaked, and we'll have to tear the carpet out of the office. That'll be a huge job, so till we have the energy to do it, I'm burning lots of incense. It's smelly!

Also, last week my aunt Laurie died. She was diagnosed with cancer on Jan 4. She's my dad's next younger sister, and I didn't know her very well. Last night I went to the airport (in grotesque weather) to pick up Blaine and his family. The funeral was yesterday in Kentucky, and the burial is tomorrow in Spanish Fork. Blaine's family is staying here, and the other family members are at other relatives' houses. I'll try to get a cousin picture, but there will be lots of people missing. Sad though, that a funeral could bring most of us together better than anything else.

Since I'll never catch up

2011-03-03T22:29:00.002-07:00

1. Finally got the insurance settlement from my accident last February. Came in right in time for Christmas. We spent it on bills and redoing our living room.

2. Redid the living room with lots of good help. It looks about a kazillion times better than it did and is not disease-ridden anymore. Yay for ripping out 30+ year old carpeting!!!

3. Christmas was great. Nothing really to note.

4. Amelia was sick on her birthday - Thanksgiving, so we never got around to doing anything for her.

5. Felix turned 4 and we took the kids to the aquarium. And Felix was sick so he didn't enjoy it much, although he LOVED his presents. Brent and I bought him a last-minute track thing with two cars and he plays with that thing constantly. Amelia loved petting the stingrays at the aquarium.

6. I keep gaining weight.

7. I was in an accident on New Year's Eve. I was on my way to the airport to pick up my friend Juanita and her family, driving their car. Got two houses down from mine and a neighbor backed out of her driveway into me. The insurance companies are still fighting over whose fault it is because apparently she told her insurance that she was already going forward when I hit her. But really she was in reverse when we hit. As much as I hate the idea of a feud in the cul-de-sac or in the ward, I'll fight that till the bitter end if I have to. In the meantime, I have to come up with my friend's $500 deductible so she can get her car fixed. Yucky.

8. Brent and I are going to Disneyland for our 5-year anniversary this month. We were going to try to go on a huge cruise but we just can't pull it off. Sigh. Someday I'll get back to Alaska...

9. I've been doing a lot of crafting. I made these really cute snowmen earrings (thanks a billion to CarrieAnne for passing along a link to the idea) and ended up selling over 40 pairs. I gave away at least that many. I've been inspired. I'm currently making beaded flowers, but I don't know if I'll sell them. They take too long so far.

10. I plan on getting a booth or a kiosk next fall/winter to sell my stuff. I'm going to call it Bucks Even (because I hate having to buy something for much less than I have because "with tax" the item I want is just out of my price range - don't you dare steal my idea, I plan on copyrighting it soon) and I'll have a variety of things - hopefully all that will make good Christmas presents. Like my jewelry, small rice bag warmers, mini M&M dispensers (gotta figure out how to cut baby food jar lids), and various things from a few of my friends who want in. If all goes as planned/hoped, I'll be able to take $5000-$8000 profit from it that would be a great way to pay off taxes or start up a real business. Cross your fingers for me!

11. Felix tells me all the time that he's my kitty cat. He's really smart but we're not pushing him with kindergarten-type things. I love seeing him enjoy learning things.

12. Amelia loves to copy Felix. She's got his vocabulary. She's got crazy hair most of the time. She can count to 10 when she's not thinking about it, but otherwise she skips numbers. I'm pretty sure Felix has never done that for me, although he can already do simple addition and subtraction.

13. Both kids are very helpful. Most recently, they have discovered that they can make Oscar laugh. We all love that.

14. Oscar is really short (17th percentile), on the chubby side (77th percentile), and he's got a huge head (98th percentile). He's extremely pleasant and easy. He sleeps mostly through the night almost all of the time. He was 6 months old the day before Felix's birthday. Oscar laughs a lot and he's very ticklish. He loves to jump in his jumpy chair but doesn't like being on his belly. He sleeps on his side best.

15. I love having my kids around. I'm finally feeling like I can accomplish things without constant help. Only took me about 9 months. Too bad I had to gain all sorts of weight in that time. I feel all sorts of sluggish and can't wait for good weather so the kids and I can enjoy the backyard while Brent goes to the library to get his work done.

I think that's mostly it. I have tons of projects already made and tons that I'm planning on making. I'll try to start getting pics up of those projects. And I really will try to post more regularly. It'll probably usually be short posts. Hopefully.

Love you all!

Tragedy

2010-12-22T11:28:00.002-07:00

First, a disclaimer/apology: I realize I haven't kept up on my blog lately. Life gets both hectic and boring with a newborn around. The best part of our days lately has been the funny stuff that Felix and Amelia say. They crack us up. Also, Oscar is a very cheerful and generally easy baby. Thank goodness. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better.

Now, for the reason I'm writing today...

It seems lately that there is tragedy all around me. Everyone is being hit. Either there is serious illness or financial distress, and often the two go hand in hand.

Money stinks. Everyone is wanting, and it's not frivolous stuff either. For example, there's the dear friend who's insurance won't pay for her son's $1500 per month growth hormones so he can be a normal-sized boy. There's the dear friend who just found out she has cataracts and will need serious and expensive surgery. There's the sister who's trying to support her family while her husband's business flails. There's the cousin who's son needs all sorts of reconstructive surgery for a birth defect. There's the sister who is finding her hours cut at work, despite needing to work full-time to pay her bills. There's the friend who's son was just diagnosed with a couple of serious illnesses and has been trying to raise money to get a service dog trained for him.

I, for once, got some amazing news recently and now I feel all sorts of guilty about it. I mean, I think it was about time our ship came in (so to speak), but I hate seeing my loved ones in distress.

I have got to figure out a way to help those around me. I hate the idea of fundraising. I do like the idea of being wealthy enough to help. I've got to figure out how to do that. I'm sure if any of my loved ones knew how, they'd already be doing that themselves, but if anyone has any ideas, please spread the love.

Latest family member

2010-09-12T22:12:00.002-06:00

(sadly my pics are unavailable till I figure out how to resize them. I no longer have access to iPhoto)

So, the last month has been a bit on the crazy side of things. I finally got around to getting seen for my tooth that broke back in January. Turned out that it needed a root canal but it was salvageable with a crown. Medicaid paid for metal fillings (I needed 4) and a metal crown - I paid for the upgrades to ceramic, so my mouth is still all white. Yay!

I got the fillings and crown on the 18th and on the 19th of August I started having real contractions. I could tell from the start that they were different than the ones I'd had before. Even though I'd been in the hospital twice with serious contractions, the ones on the 19th were definitely different. For one thing, I could feel them deeper down in my belly and by early afternoon they had settled into my back. I was pretty sure that meant baby was coming so I cleaned up around the house, took a shower, and packed the hospital bag. It helped me feel at least a little bit prepared.

Since my parents were unavailable (mom was on a cruise with her mom and sisters, and dad was at work), we packed the kids into the car and headed to the hospital around 7 pm. I was dilated to a 3. I got two doses of the muscle relaxant that sometimes helps stop labor, because the doc was hoping we could put off the inevitable for a few more weeks.

When the doctor got there a little after 9 pm, we decided to break my water and just have the baby since my contractions weren't stopping. I was still dilated to a 3, but my bag of waters was bulging through, and given my history with super quick births, we figured maybe we could just get it over with quickly. My brother Daniel helpfully brought his son Ethan over to stay with the kids so it was just me and Brent and nurse Jennifer for the majority of the evening.

I progressed quickly, but not so quickly as we thought I might. Dr. Saunders went off to rest up and wait for me to be ready and the nurse assigned to me was amazingly helpful. She helped me labor in various positions and checked me periodically. After 2 hours, I was dilated to a 7 and I stayed there for about an hour. I got up and went to the bathroom, labored in various positions, and even spent about half an hour on my knees. Jennifer helpfully pressed on my lower back and rocked my hips back and forth during the contractions, which relieved huge amounts of back pain.

Finally about 12:30 am, Jennifer wanted to check me again so I got back up. Still dilated to a 7, she suggested I lay on my side. I was up for something different, but when the next contraction hit (they were almost on top of each other by this time) it was super painful and I knew that position was a really bad idea. Turns out that was transition, and when she checked me again just a few minutes later I was at a 9 1/2 (about 3 minutes had passed).

Another nurse popped her head in and Jennifer yelled for her to get the doctor. By this time I was really whimpering through the contractions and there was no down time between them at all. Hoping it was time to push, I gave a tentative one while Jennifer was putting on her gloves and she told me to stop. But then it really was time to push. She tried to get me to grunt through it - only short little bursts, no real pushing, but I knew this was it: "no! he's coming NOW!"

One big push and out he came. The official time was 12:42 am. Jennifer was still putting on her second glove, so little Oscar came out on the bed. Jennifer joked afterward that if it had been a shorter bed he would have shot out onto the floor.

With that one push I finally felt relief. No tearing and really there was no pain. Just the relief of the push. That part was essentially the same as with Amelia.

Less than a minute later Dr. Saunders came in. So yeah, no doctor attended the birth. Jennifer and Dr. Saunders spent a few minutes checking him out and making sure he was okay, while I got ready to hold my new baby. I had told both of them that I wanted to do skin to skin, but in the excitement the cord got cut immediately (we wanted to wait a minute) and he got passed to the special care nurse. Again I expressed my desire to hold him naked against my skin but nobody heard, so when I finally got him he was wrapped tightly. Dang it. That was really my only disappointment with the experience.

Little Oz was breathing a little fast so he was taken to the special care nursery. They did a skin response test that essentially told them his blood sugar was a little low. They decided to start an IV just to get some fluids in him, but it took them a long time to get it started. Apparently the strain was enough that Oscar cried heartily, opening up his lungs and clearing up the breathing issue. The special care nurses finally called in the on-call neonatologist, who got the IV started in his foot.

I felt great, a bit on the wired side. I did send Brent home to stay with the kids so Ethan wouldn't get overwhelmed in case they woke up in the night.

Stats: 6 lbs 8 oz, 18 1/2 inches long. Lots of dark brown hair. Super cute, of course. I think he looks a lot more like me than the other two kids. Good looking, either way. :)

Oz initially nursed well, but after the first two times he cried every time I tried to nurse him. He did have the IV so we didn't have to give him a bottle. It took four more days for him to nurse again and then it was spotty. By a week and a half, the docs wanted him to get feedings every 3 hours, so I did power pumps before going to bed and allowed the night nurses to bottle feed at night so I could sleep. It was helpful because I was getting so tired I could barely function.

Let me tell you, leaving a kid in the hospital can be both exhausting and helpful. It's nice to sleep through the night, but it's terrible to not be able to take your newborn home.

Anyway, Little Oz did well with feedings and he was released on Friday, Sept 3 - two weeks after he was born. We've now had him at home for a week and he's great. We're slowly adjusting to having three little ones. It would be a bit easier if we didn't have sickness to deal with as well.

Oh, Brent got salmonella the week Oscar was born. There was a 288 million egg recall. Brent went to the doctor to get updated diabetes medicine and the doc thought he didn't really have salmonella. Our eggs weren't part of the recall so we wondered. But then there was another recall, this time of more than 300 million eggs, and this time our eggs were in the recall.

I finally got sick the day Oscar was released from the hospital, but mine was/is a really bad cold. Felix and Amelia have both gotten it, although thankfully not as bad.

So now, Felix starts out the night in his own room, although he almost always ends up with me in the big recliner in the office. Amelia sleeps on the floor next to the recliner and most of the time she makes it through the night. Not always though, so when I've got both kids in the chair with me I don't end up getting much sleep. Not that I can complain much. Brent takes Oscar through the night.

As disruptive as it is to sleep to deal with two toddlers, I don't have to wake completely up to deal with them. But feeding a newborn in the middle of the night would require complete wakefulness, so that would actually be harder on my sleep.

I know, totally selfish. But I LOVE that my babies love their daddy so much because he feeds them too. They are infinitely bonded to him and it makes my heart happy.

The kids are adjusting well to having a baby in the house. They seem perfectly accepting of his presence. I've tried to explain that mommy has a special kind of pocket (we started with talking about giraffes) where babies can grow called a uterus. And when baby Oscar got big enough he came out. If it had been earlier in the day, I would have kept the kids in the room to watch. Yeah, I'm that kind of mom. :) We also talk about nursing, and how only mommies have milk. I tell that that if it's been a long time since I nursed Oscar or since I pumped then I can get really sore. That's important for when the kids climb on me because really I get beyond sore sometimes.

As before, I'm really loving being a mom to a newborn. Oscar is a beautiful baby that I feel totally in love with.

And as always, I love to show him off. Feel free to stop by and ogle my gorgeous baby, as long as you're not sick. :)

What the experts don't tell you about motherhood

2010-07-23T10:21:00.002-06:00

1. Being pregnant is hard.
Hormones. We're talking serious influx of hormones here. There are extra levels of everything that makes women moody. Not only that, but there are certain hormones released that make your body do weird things. Like towards the 3rd trimester your joints will ache - especially in your pelvis. It's your body's way of loosening things so a baby can squeeze out. With all the hormones, pregnancy is hard not only on the pregnant, but for everyone nearby. Watch out baby daddies! Be prepared for some serious PMS-type emotions and crankiness because everything hurts.
There is the "morning sickness" that people don't tell you can last an entire pregnancy or can hit at the most inopportune moments. It can be general nausea or it can be wretching your guts out. Add to that the heartburn and what you eat during pregnancy can become difficult. You could be one of those women who can eat nothing but one particular brand of breakfast cereal - for the entire pregnancy. It could be that favorite foods can no longer be stomached. For some (lots?) the smell of cooking meat is especially disgusting. Or maybe you do have real cravings. I have to keep a jar of green olives in the fridge just in case. And I'm susceptible to suggestion. Like if someone mentions peanut butter and jelly, I have to immediately stock my cupboards with the supplies and I'll eat them for a week or two straight.
Then there's the exhaustion. Your body is producing serious miracles of growth and it takes every ounce of energy to make them happen. You've got a parasite sucking out your nutrients (seriously, that's why you HAVE to take a multi-vitamin during pregnancy) and making you desire (no, NEED) extra sleep. Every pregnant woman I've known has needed to take naps toward the end of pregnancy. There's just no way to get all the sleep you need at night. Especially if you have other kids.
Last but not least, pregnancy can be downright painful. I'm not talking about labor and delivery. I'm talking about the pregnancy itself. Think about it. At the end, you've got a watermelon-sized thing attached to your front that can wreak serious havoc on your back. The gravity and sheer size of your parasite and its housing require that you sit differently, stand differently, walk differently, and even sleep differently. And it's not like it's something you can get used to. This thing is moving and growing constantly. Babies instinctively want to stretch out and test boundaries. I had a midwife tell me that her 5th baby kicked and punched so much that it destroyed her appendix and she had to have an emergency appendectomy during the pregnancy. I've known women who claimed to have baby feet lodged under their ribs almost to their armpit. My babies seem to take pleasure in pushing a certain balloon-type organ that needs to be emptied regularly. And don't forget the joints. Not just the pelvis loosens during pregnancy. The hormone that loosens the ligaments of the pelvis works everywhere. All joints loosen up. Thus falling as a pregnant lady is too common. Be careful.

2. Being a parent is hard. Motherhood is spectacularly interesting and boring at the same time. It's exhausting of mind and body. It's hilarious. It's heartbreaking. It's scary and thrilling.
This winter my 3-year-old split his eyelid open on a piano bench he had moved into grandma's kitchen. Serious drugs and 8 stitches later, I brought him home all covered in blood and happy as a clam. A month or two later, my 15-month-old walked through the not-quite-dead ashes of a bonfire and got serious burns on her foot. My husband and I both cried as we held her down and the doctor pealed the dead skin off so the stuff underneath could heal. It took her almost a week to be able to walk again, but now just 3 months later you can barely see the pink discoloration on her foot.
Last night my 8-year-old niece took my kid to the playground near our picnic so he could play on the slides. Hannah monkeyed around herself, but fell from the top-side of the one of the big winding slides - breaking her arm. I felt guilty in my relief that it wasn't my kid this time around.
Every morning my little girl goes to her big brother's room to wake him up so he will play with her. The glee in her voice when she sees him and tries to wake him up just makes me want to squeeze her, but she only has eyes for him. He tenderly takes her hand to walk down the too-narrow hallway or to walk to the car from the grocery store, loving to help out in keeping her safe.
My little boy tries so hard to be a good boy. To be big and helpful and strong. When he got in trouble for whining too much last night (wanted to stay at the park all night) and he cried and cried and got sent to bed without his popsicle, he tried to convince us that he should be able to stay up. This tender little boy, only 3 1/2 years old, valiantly choked back the tears and told us he was done. I believed him, and my resolve to be consistent with his punishment made me want to cry too.

These little monsters, that can mess up a room way more quickly than I can keep it clean... these huge personalities stuffed in tiny bodies... they make me laugh and cry, bring me sorrow and joy, hope and despair.
Parenthood is absolutely nothing like what I expected, but it really is everything I hoped. Better in so many ways. It is by far the most heartbreaking and rewarding thing I have ever had the privilege of experiencing.

Bragging

2010-06-22T09:04:00.004-06:00

I'm pretty sure I got the cutest kids ever. They're well-behaved most of the time even, but really they're just so freaking cute that they astound me on a very regular basis. This photo courtesy of nephew Ethan, who is as enamored with my kids' eyes as I am. :)

Felix is totally potty trained, although he will sometimes wait just a little too long to go and then get stuck with his pants and have an accident. At church one day he peed all over his new tie because it was a little bit too long. He does still pee at night, although most of the time he wakes up to go (some day he'll be able to get up by himself and go by himself, but for now he needs help).

Neither Felix nor Amelia sleeps very much. That is a constant source of frustration for me, but they're mostly very healthy so I don't actually worry. I'd just like more sleep myself.

Both kids are little meat eaters. They adore eggs and hotdog-type foods. Felix totally got into a steak on Sunday. Amelia loves jerky. Thankfully, they also both really like vegetables.

Felix has really gotten into role play lately and will jump around and say he's a rabbit. Or he'll crawl around meowing and saying he's a cat. He also likes to growl.

Just now he said he wanted to go upstairs and when I said he could go in a little bit he said, "But I want to go upstairs a whole bunch!"

Felix especially loves his grandpa and will spend every moment he can with him. When grandpa goes to work, Felix begs him to stay. Felix also loves his cousins. This morning he requested that Rachel come over to play with him, which will free me up and allow me to get some housework done.

Amelia has just a ton of little mannerisms that crack me up. She's so darn cute and I'm pretty sure she knows it. When she wants to be sad or angry she squints her eyes and gives a fake little cry. She always holds the back of her hair with one hand when she's drinking a bottle, which looks totally poised. She scrunches up her nose to grin. And she talks constantly. When she wants you to follow her, she'll half look behind the whole way to make sure you're still following, often running into walls and corners.

Amelia has a very strong opinion on many things and we're trying to break her of the "Mine!" habit.

More than anything, Amelia loves her big brother. She follows him around everywhere and if she can't find him she'll go looking, crying out, "WeWe! WeWe! WeWe!" For a while in the mornings she would come to me first, asking, "where's WeWe?"

Amelia is typically the first one to bed and the first one awake - usually by a couple of hours on each end. It's tough when my body wants to be asleep till at least 8 and she's wide awake at 6 and wanting to play.

She also dances. Like to everything. Give her any kind of tune and beat and she'll be wiggling all over the place. She LOVES music and dancing. Super cute.

And then there's water. I wish I had some pictures. The kids are both madly in love with any kind of water. This is bad sometimes because the kids don't ever want to leave. Or get out. Or stop playing in the sink. But it's a really easy/guaranteed way to entertain. I would really love to have a little wading pool for the kids to play in out back. And a trampoline. The kids both love those too.

All in all, my little monsters are about the cutest things ever. I'm actually kind of worried to have a third because I can't imagine another one could measure up in cuteness. Of course, that's a silly thought. It's like we've won the jackpot twice already. Odds are good little Oscar will be just as beautiful and lovable.

For now, however, I'm seriously enamored. Most of the time. They really can be monsters with a specialty in mayhem and destruction. But dang! they're cute! :)

Update - again

2010-06-14T09:55:00.002-06:00

Okay, so we're having a boy. A little bundle of energy already. The kid is super active and I feel him a lot. I had a dream last night I could see his little hands pushing my skin out. Quite surreal.

Everything is going well with the pregnancy still. I do have quite a bit of back pain, and my sacro-illiac joint is totally on the fritz to where sometimes I have a really hard time standing or walking, but otherwise everything is on course. To hopefully prolong the pregnancy, I'm getting weekly progesterone shots from my sis Anne. When she first saw the needle she said, "Oh, that's the kind of needle the nurse uses when she's mad at the patient!" Apparently progesterone is really thick. She has to get the stuff out with one needle and then switch to the skinnier needle. Even so, the skinny needle isn't super pleasant. I did figure out yesterday that it hurts more to get the shot in the arm than it does to get it in the bum.

We're still going through plenty of sickness, but we're healthy enough. Amelia is quite the talker. She says a lot of words very clearly and she's using a tiny little bit of sign to augment. Her favorite is the sign for "all done" (kind of jazz hands) and she says it too: "ah none!" Super cute.

Felix and Amelia are finally sleeping in their own beds - at least mostly. Brent and I moved the big recliner into the kids' room so I could help them sleep there and so I could have a more private place to sleep. It works well enough, but I can't wait to be able to sleep in my own bed again. I'm sure it'll have to be in the fall when Brent is done sleeping with a fan (it just dries me out way too much to be comfortable).

Both kids wake up in the middle of the night a lot. Felix often does it because he's coughing and then he has to go to the bathroom. And that leads to the next milestone...

POTTY TRAINING!!!

I don't think I've said anything about this yet, but Felix is now potty trained. He does have occasional accidents, but he's more upset about them than I am. It did take a while to convince him to wear his underpants correctly. He wanted the big picture in the front so he could see it. :)

Night is a slightly different story. He will pee in his sleep so he's still wearing a diaper at night. But if he doesn't drink too much and you take him to the bathroom kind of late, it's very likely that he'll be dry in the morning. I've wondered if the tossing and turning about 3 am has more to do with going to the bathroom than with coughing, but I can't tell. Either way, he much prefers peeing in the toilet. Yippee!

The fun thing is that Amelia wants to pee in the toilet too. We haven't pushed it and she doesn't see much of a connection yet, but she sure likes to sit on that potty chair and try. I did get her to go once, but it was immediately after she woke up from a nap. She seemed surprised. heh

Yesterday at church Felix had to go to the bathroom so he went into the little nursery bathroom. Sadly, his brand new tie was a bit long and he peed all over it.

Amelia is also in the nursery now, but she's a bit different than Felix. She has turned into quite the mamma's girl and even if she gets distracted, she'll look around for me and have a fit if she doesn't see me. Brent is the only one who can calm her down (although her grandma and aunt Anne and a few girl cousins have had some luck). This week we had a relief society activity to make some craft things. Brent had a presentation at a friend's class so I took the kids with me since they had a nursery there. But the men who were helping in the nursery weren't successful in distracting her and she got super upset. I heard her screaming and got there just in time to get majorly thrown up on.

Yep, Amelia has turned into a puker like Felix.

Oh, we have also discovered that Amelia has lots of allergies. Looks like she's allergic to most nuts. She can do almonds without throwing up, but has fallen victim to peanuts/peanut butter, cashews, and even sunflower seeds. Felix has thrown up pecans and pistacchios as well. So it looks like only almonds - at least for a long time.

Sometimes I feel like my kids are missing out by not having peanut butter and jelly. :)

One last update - financial. So I got a garnishment on my checking account and they seized the whole thing. We're still trying to fight it, but Brent's brother John said we don't have a case against the lawyers. Sucky, eh? I still want it to go to court. We tried getting a loan to pay off everything and because the judgment had Brent's name too, it took a full 100 points off his credit score and now we don't qualify. Super sucky. Those lawyers essentially made it impossible for us to pay them back. Super idiots. Right now we're trying to file an official motion to get the case reheard so I can access my money again. And we figure our only options are to get a co-signer for our loan or to declare bankruptcy. Sucks either way. But that's where we are.

In other words, pregnancy is going well while we're taking precautions, Felix and Amelia are progressing and impressing, and financial woes stink. That's our spring, in a nutshell. :)

That's right, I'm amazing!

2010-05-02T11:16:00.003-06:00

This comes from a favorite web comic called xkcd.

So, it's been really nice to stay at home these past couple of weeks. Mostly though, it's been kind of life-saving. What with Amelia's accident and all the other sickness (Felix has now been sick - fever and throwing up - for 3 1/2 days... this is the second time since I quit working), it would have absolutely destroyed us if I had to keep working during it all. As draining as it is to deal with all this, it really is nice to know that I'm really actually needed and appreciated. And not just during crisis.

This pregnancy has been quite different. For one thing, I've felt only the tiniest bits of nausea and heartburn. I've still eaten everything in sight and gained plenty of weight, but I blame part of that on just not following my eating plan I was doing last year. I was dumb to stop.

The biggest symptom I've had to deal with is just exhaustion. A lot of that is from the pregnancy directly, and almost all the rest is from pregnancy indirectly (I sleep worse when I'm pregnant). Mostly though, my clothes fit me differently especially around the middle. I don't know that I actually look pregnant yet. Definitely bigger though.

We do have names picked out, and as soon as the Medicaid kicks in we'll go get an ultrasound and see if baby #3 is an exhibitionist like the first 2 were. Feel free to make suggestions on names though. hahahahaha

Feelin' Groovy (relatively)

2010-04-26T09:36:00.002-06:00

Amelia finally started walking again on Friday - one full week after the incident. She's doing great and her foot is starting to look human again. Dr. Freestone said it would still be a couple months before the skin on her foot isn't super tender and easy to tear. Poor kid won't be able to go barefoot till later in the summer. But she doesn't seem to mind all the bandage changing, and yesterday when I took her in the shower she didn't have any trouble with the temperature of the water (I did turn it to basically luke-warm, but it wasn't hard on her body or on her foot).

I feel like I'm finally coming out of this cold business. I'm not sure why nobody else in the family got it, but I'm extremely grateful that they didn't. It has been truly miserable. I can't imagine how tough it would have been if Amelia had been sick as well as injured.

So, the house is a complete wreck (and no, I'm not exaggerating with that description) and I have tons to do in the way of projects. Still working on the lawsuit stuff, as well as the medicaid stuff. I also have a couple of building projects and I will post pics if I ever get started.

On Friday I got together with my friends Michelle and Anne to brainstorm and write and it was extremely productive. I have great ideas and a definite direction. Now I just need to write it all out. This is the project I'm looking most forward to tackling.

We're good. Not perfect, but definitely good.

Update on Amelia - day 3 (caution - scary pics)

2010-04-20T19:54:00.004-06:00

So, as requested, we took Amelia to the doc again this morning to change her bandages. Dr. Freestone said it's healing nicely with no sign of infection, but again, it was a difficult experience.

It was much easier than yesterday, but she still screamed. She can't put any kind of pressure on her foot and she won't keep the bandages on her hands. Still, healing well.

You can see Amelia's toes - they're essentially all giant blisters. The pics of the bottom of her foot - what's hanging off is the oily gauze they put over the top of the exposed under skin. First they put on some thick antibiotic ointment, then they cover it in this oily gauze (so it doesn't stick), then they cover it with regular gauze and then a stretchy sock-like thing. The bandage is pretty intense. We're going back on Thursday for another change of bandages.

"In some countries, she'd now be considered a man!"

2010-04-19T23:21:00.006-06:00

So, I'm pregnant. Official due date is September 21. We have a boy name picked out and a girl name picked out, but we should be able to find out what we're having in the next few weeks. You're welcome to submit suggestions. :)

After the lawsuit* thing in January and the pregnancy thing right around the same time, life got a bit stressful. We did the calculations once I became eligible for insurance and we figured out that it would actually end up costing us for me to keep working. So last Thursday was my last day.

But the weekend before I got sick. Like really sick. I have no idea what's going on, but it's been over a week and I can still barely talk. I wake up every night coughing up a lung and if I go too long without coughing my throat closes up and I can barely breathe.

Thankfully, I'm the only one. Illnesses as a parent are actually easier to handle when it's just the parents. When it's the parents and the kids it's much worse.

Friday night we had a movie night with some friends. We invited lots but ended up enjoying the evening with Mike and Bethany and kids. It was incredibly pleasant. I really really really like them.

Saturday morning Felix didn't want to wake up. He was totally listless and mostly asleep all morning and if he did wake up he threw up. About noon we roused him again and he was thirsty. He wanted to get dressed and go out with grandma and grandpa in the yard. Acted 100% so I let him go.

Brent and I took advantage of the grandparents and when Amelia woke from her nap and wanted to go out we let her go too. My parents had been burning old sticks and such to clear out the yard, along with lots of cardboard that had accumulated.

Because Amelia is super quick and super determined, my parents didn't see her when she walked straight through the coals of their bonfire to get to Felix. She got right to the middle of the coals and fell over, and my mom was there almost immediately, but the damage had already been done. This was taken at the emergency room. It was pretty traumatic. They gave her some kind of narcotic which stopped the immediate screaming, till they had to wash off her foot. Tylenol with codeine, in tandem with ibuprofen, was a huge help, and she was walking on her foot very quickly.

Till this morning. We took her to her pediatrician (we adore Phil Freestone in Orem, by the way, if anyone needs a good pediatrician) and although he was very gentle, he still had to do some major work. This is what her foot looked like when the bandages from the ER came off:
This actually wasn't the worst of it. All that white skin on the bottom of her foot had to come off - it wasn't attached anymore. I did take a pic of it, but it didn't come out. And it would have grossed everyone out anyway. Brent came with me, thankfully, and held her down (with my help and that of the nurse) while Doc Freestone pealed and cut. That's a terrible thing for a parent... thank goodness she won't remember any of this.

Doc says there will be scarring and we have to take her again tomorrow. And this evening Felix had a reaction to a tiny amount of pecans. Sigh. It never ends.

*We next heard from the lawyers in February saying they weren't opposed to a settlement or payment arrangements. We figured they saw my response and got afraid so we didn't do anything - just waited for notice of the court date. It didn't come. End of March/beginning of April we got a big official notice from the lawyers saying that because we didn't come to court the judge threw out our response and sided with them. We talked to the courthouse and found that they had filed the "notice of pretrial" in February. We didn't get it - till the day I went to the courthouse to get copies. They had mailed it the day before - April 7. Court was scheduled for March 12. So along with requesting a new hearing, we're thinking of filing a countersuit because they've deliberately sabotaged our efforts to pay and to defend ourselves. I'm angry enough with them (and with their jerk of a legal assistant - she was never less than a complete ass to me on the phone) that I'd love to get someone fired over it. Stay tuned.

Stolen from Miss Cellania thru my friend Lis, who also understands

2010-02-11T07:07:00.002-07:00

Toddler Diet

Day One

* Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
* Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
* Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.
* Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

Day Two

* Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
* Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor).One ice cube, if desired.
* Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug.
* Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

Day Three

* Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.
* Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up
* Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

Final Day

* Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
* Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
* Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Start over with day one.

Long week

2010-02-04T20:48:00.003-07:00

This has been kind of a tough week. On Monday morning I finally made it to water aerobics. I decided I could run home after to change my shirt (it wasn't quite as clean as I thought it was) and pick up my water bottle, but on the way I got in an accident.

Very happily, it wasn't my fault. I did feel sorry for the teenager who hit me because she was taking her little brother and sister to school and just didn't look both ways before pulling out of the cul-de-sac and into the side of my car. There wasn't nearly as much damage as there could have been - as there would have been if I'd been driving a smaller car. As it was, the impact tore a hole in my front passenger tire, ripped my bumper and fender, and displaced a couple of things. A very nice man living nearby changed that tire for me so I didn't need to get towed. Especially nice since it was very cold (30-ish?) and I had no idea how to release the spare.

I got everything taken care of with insurance (her insurance admitted fault/blame immediately) and took my car to the shop on Tuesday. I got a rental through insurance. They were going to upgrade me to an SUV, but they started me out with a 2009 Chrysler Town & Country (fancy schmancy minivan). I called later to ask about the final estimate and they said it was just under $3000 and it should be done end of next week. Happily - nice rental for the meantime.

In sadder news, my back and neck have been pretty sore. I went to see a doc yesterday and besides cracking my back (which felt great for at least a little while) he recommended physical therapy. I've been needing a heating pad so I can sit for any length of time. I haven't taken much of the pain killer that I got though. I hate extra drowsy, especially since I'm already not sleeping well.

Anyway, Felix's eye looks great. Amelia is finally starting to walk (with some coaxing). Felix is finally getting excited about potty training (I think he's just happy to wear underwear) and has even talked about sleeping in his own bed (woo hoo!!!!!).

Brent and I have been seriously sleep-deprived for a while now so that's been tough, but the kids continually surprise and entertain us. Life is tough, but very good.

What trumped my brownies

2010-01-24T22:54:00.002-07:00

I made brownies tonight. Didn't get to eat them. Felix was running around upstairs with one of his cousins. As he went through the kitchen he slipped and fell, catching his eyelid on the corner of the piano bench that someone had moved into the room.

Poor kid started bleeding all over the place so I ran him to the emergency room. Brent stayed home with Amelia, who had a little emergency of her own. She apparently is allergic to peanut butter.

Felix was a champ. His cut had stopped bleeding by the time we got in the car but it was pretty big. An inch maybe but it looked deep and the skin was separated quite a bit. The doc and the nurses were pretty good with him. Very patient and explained things well.

The doc decided to put him out because he didn't want Felix to struggle when he got scared. Ever heard of Ketamine? It has some weird effects on people. The doctor did warn me though so I wasn't too bothered. 8 stitches and two hours later we got home, and Felix threw up on me. Like everything in his belly. That wasn't very pleasant, but I've had worse.

So it's 11 pm and I should have been in bed an hour ago. I still haven't gotten my brownies but I think I deserve a big helping. Don't you agree? I'd share with Felix but he's zonked. Poor kid.

I got served

2010-01-21T23:26:00.002-07:00

A summons a week and a half ago. Yeah, I got sued. Second time actually. I should be an old pro by now, but I have to admit I had no idea what was going on so I just let the lawyers do their thing.

This time I read everything carefully and had my bro who's in law school point me in the right direction (disclaimer: no legal advice was given), and created a large "Answer to Complaint", which I filed this afternoon. I'm hoping the judge will throw out the lawsuit and say I've paid enough. In fact, I kind of wish all the other medical bills from that unnecessary appendectomy of 2007 were included so I could deal with them all together.

Anyway, I felt prepared, which was a first.

And today, I got a haircut. I love Devron. She's the bestest.

Per request...

2010-01-11T20:55:00.008-07:00

Super quick rundown of the last month and a half and then lots of fun pics.

New job is going great. I like it even though it's been really tough to keep up with everything. Brent's work is suffering although he has cut back some. Part of the difficulty has been because of a terrible month of sickness. We spent our Christmas break running to the bathroom and doing lots of extra laundry.

Christmas day we tried to go see a movie but Amelia's moaning got us kicked out. Talk about embarrassing. And miserable.

We finally got our kitchen installed, thanks to the competent and generous Denny Vincent. It's good being related to the highly-skilled. To make sure I'm not taking advantage (I did pay, but I'm sure his time was worth a lot more), I'm referring furiously. Anyone need the best contractor/handyman in Utah County?

Oh, Amelia's birthday party right after Thanksgiving turned into an impromptu family reunion. There was one cousin there I hadn't seen in more than 10 years, and another I hadn't seen in about 6. It was awesome to see everyone.

Amelia finally got a couple of teeth (after she turned 1) - she now has 3 and another pretty close. She's still not walking.

Felix is just a little crackpot. He's working on potty training with gentle nudging from his grandparents and parents. He'll now tell us when he wants to go pee and he'll often take off his diaper so he can go.

Both kids have so much personality and constantly make us laugh.

Enjoy the pics!

Because everyone needs a good laugh sometimes

2009-11-21T10:05:00.007-07:00

I got this from my friend's facebook profile. Her mom wrote it:

"That reminds me of the story about your Grandma Beatrice. Grandpa was away and she had to kill the turkey. She couldn't do it, so she 'gassed' it in the oven then plucked all the feathers off. When she came back in the kitchen the 'naked' turkey was standing on the table. She was so shocked that she couldn't 'kill' it again so she knitted it a sweater. Well needless to say Grandpa made sure he made the Christmas table."

The mental images from this story are killing me!

Oh man, I haven't laughed that hard in a good long time. Good times. :)

And now for some family stuff...
Amelia went for a swim. Now we make sure to empty the tub and close the bathroom door.

Felix found a Warhead and wanted to try it out.

Doesn't he look quite heroic here? He's actually a very smiley kid, but he doesn't show off for the camera.

I used to play in the dirt (and eat it) when I was a kid. We can barely keep them away. I wonder if it's genetic.

Pillows. You're doing it wrong!

How she feels rested after this I'll never know.

Snuggled into daddy's side.

Amelia has found a few pacifiers laying around and has decided that she likes them. She's never been a binky baby, but sometimes she liked to chew on them (still no teeth). So she now wanders around sticking these otherwise-unused binkies in her mouth, often at weird angles. She doesn't care, which makes it even cuter.

She's still not walking, although she's still very close. And in the past couple of days I've noticed her trying out sounds as if she's trying to imitate our speech. More than just mumbling and baby talk though, she's actually getting some of the sounds right. She's a very smart little girl and Brent and I are constantly awed by her. She's also incredibly cute and has even started snuggling with us more than when she's tired. Sure, it only lasts a couple of seconds, but it's adorable!

Felix is finally growing some legs. Poor kid had this long torso and short little legs, but now all his pants are looking too short. He's still dragging his feet about potty training, but it's not like we're making a big push for it either. I keep telling him it can be my Christmas present from him - no more diapers. He has no idea what I'm talking about. :)

Brent read a Parenting with Love and Logic book that suggested saying (with toddlers especially) "I can't hear/understand you when you're whining." Even when he's sick or super tired, if we tell him we don't understand (which often is the absolute truth) he will stop, gather his breath, and say, "Please can I have..." Saying it purposely actually makes it easier to understand, as well as teaching him to be polite. He is also starting to say "thank you" without prompting.

Amelia loves her daddy. He gets up with her in the mornings and also gets her to sleep. I'm often taking Felix out on errands to give Brent some quiet so she can take a nap. Felix, since he spends so much time with me, much prefers his mommy. This is both heartwarming and frustrating, since if I'm around at all, he will refuse to be comforted by daddy.

Either way, we have some seriously cute kids. Don't you agree?

Good thing, because they're snot monsters at the moment. Both have bad colds that make them cough so hard they throw up. Amelia was the latest, and it came at a really bad time. Let me tell you, it's not much fun to have a sweet sleeping baby cough so much it wakes her up, only to be covered by everything in her stomach (just formula, thankfully). I was standing there in Walmart, holding my hand a couple inches from her face so I didn't get covered, all the while dismaying that it was dripping through her car seat over the groceries and forming a nice-sized puddle on the floor. Fun times.

After considering all the options with regards to finances, I called a recommended bankruptcy lawyer in Salt Lake. Besides being one of the most annoying people I've ever spoken to on the phone, I left the call feeling really unhappy. I had gotten some amazing information from my brother Nephi, who is in law school, and this lawyer had contradicted too much of it to be comfortable. The biggest part was about my medical bills. Nephi had told me that because Utah is an equitable distribution state, all debts 'belong' to the spouse whose name is on the debt. This lawyer told me that medical procedures are considered to be community property because they benefit the marriage, so if one spouse declares bankruptcy, the creditors will just go after the spouse. Not cool.

This lawyer actually suggested I get a second opinion, so I did, even though I was pretty hopeless at this point.

Turned out that the very next lawyer I spoke to answered all my concerns.

Like Nephi had said, Utah is an equitable distribution state, and the medical bills are covered under that too. So unless Brent's name is on the medical bills, they can't come after him. This lawyer also said that although he couldn't charge any less than $1400 (ouch!), I could actually file on my own, which would cost me less than $500. Because this lawyer was both honest and respectful (and not obnoxiously annoying), I'm almost tempted to have him do all the work anyway. Then again, the whole reason for the bankruptcy is that I don't have enough money, so cheaper might be better. I figure if I can talk Nephi into guiding me through the process I might be okay without a lawyer. We'll see what he says.

Either way, I have hope again with regards to finances.

Part of that hope comes from a new employer. Starting Monday, I will be working full time for PDC Pages (Phone Directories Company) as an office coordinator. I think it'll be a great fit. The plan is to work for a year to get nice and financially settled (finally get this financial crap behind us). Then we can work on more expansions to our family. One of the nice things about this new job is benefits. I'm almost excited to have insurance again, although I don't know many details about it. That'll come after 90 days. It will also be nice to feel like we're not completely strapped with regards to Christmas. That's no fun at all.

So, while I'll mourn the loss of freedom of time and time with my children, I will really enjoy not feeling so much financial stress. The combination of the bankruptcy and the job should help a whole lot. Heck, maybe someday we'll even be able to pay rent again. :)

Life is good. A bit stressful and overwhelming at times, but still good.

update

2009-11-10T10:14:00.003-07:00

I don't know what it is about blogging lately, but I've had no desire to do it or read it. I'm sorry I'm behind on everyone's blogs, and I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while.

I've been fighting with a migraine for the past couple of weeks now, and although I can function every day, it's a struggle every day. There have certainly been good times in the middle when I can forget about the pain/nausea/discomfort, but maybe there's a bit of depression in there too that makes those difficult and not as often as I'd like.

It has become somewhat of a tradition to play on mommy and daddy's big bed every morning. Brent has been an absolute life-saver in getting up with Amelia, so once Felix and I wake up they come back and play with us. One morning I woke up to Felix crawling around the bed, calling out: "Miiiiiiiaaaaaa.... Miiiiiiiaaaaaa... Mimipaaaaannnnts... Baaaaabycaaaaakes..."

I love the joy on their faces as they discover each other in the mornings.

About a week ago I contacted a debt management company to consolidate all my bills. Brent didn't want to participate (understandably) because he was wary of their business ethics and the effects on credit and such. Turns out that every bit of bad debt that we have is in my name only. I do still have a couple of long-closed credit accounts that we have paid on for 7+ years, but two years ago I had an emergency appendectomy that turned out to be unnecessary. I had no insurance*, so $15,000 of medical bills later, and we're struggling.

The debt management company I found online turned out to be awesome. Kind and respectful and helpful and incredibly knowledgeable. And rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau. I was happy to finally have this under control... till Saturday, when I got a call from one of the medical collection agencies. The lady assigned to my account is an absolute jerk (and I'm not just saying that because she's trying to get money from me - her phone manners are terrible) and she informed me that they don't work with debt management companies. Period. And if I don't want them to take me to court, I have to pay them an additional $300 per month - additional to the money I'm going to pay to the debt management company.

Talk about ruining the day! Happily for me, I have a little brother who is somewhat of an expert on bankruptcy law, so I wrote him an email asking for information. The email I got back was full of all the information that I needed. Now, I just need to find a lawyer who can file for me.

I don't think this will solve all my problems or anything. And I still hate the idea of bankruptcy. But unless I get a full-time job, I will never be able to stay on top of these bills. And having a full-time job would pose all sorts of other problems with Brent's own work. It's just not possible right now (besides the fact that it would be nearly impossible to find a job in the first place).

Anyway, I do feel somewhat better now that I've made the decision. Some of the stress that has been plaguing me has lifted.

Now I can concentrate on finishing off this stupid migraine, my new cool calling (primary chorister), losing more weight (50 pounds down!), and keeping up with my two little tornadoes.

Amelia is still not walking and still has no teeth. She has been on the verge of walking for weeks now so it's getting exciting to see her inch closer every day. She and Felix take some sort of perverse pleasure in dragging things from one end of the house to the other, so I'm constantly finding things in the wrong place and missing things that I know I've put away. They also are both totally obsessed with their grandma's plants. I actually remember liking dirt when I was a kid, so I can't totally be mad about it, but pulling them away and putting back the barriers gets old after a while. As does all the sweeping. Maybe that's why I'm not ready for plants.

I can't think of anything else that would be interesting enough to share, so I guess this post is done. :)

Brent Brown Auto Plaza of Orem

2009-10-26T15:52:00.004-06:00

Turns out they really do bend over backwards to help you out. Buying a car takes a billion years, especially when you're supposed to eat every couple of hours and you have a couple of kids with you (and they need to eat too).

Otherwise it was a very positive experience. Most positive of all is the fact that we no longer have to drive our dang Jetta that has caused so much grief. Hooray!

So yeah, it's a much bigger and nicer car, but our payments only went up about $25 per month. Can you believe it? It's an '08 Toyota 4Runner, with 31K miles. I'm thinking of naming it Goldie. :)

If anyone is interested, they have a referral bonus. That means if anyone buys a car from Pete at Brent Brown in Orem and tells him that the Websters sent them, we get a check for $100. Woo hoo!

Trip / Vacation (lots of pics)

2009-10-18T15:48:00.007-06:00

My little sister wanted me to come and visit, so the day after Conference I took the kids to the airport (well, with my friend Tawna's help) and we flew to California. Turns out, Alameda is a beautiful place. For those who don't know, Alameda is an island in San Francisco Bay, right next to Oakland. Alameda has just about perfect weather, is safe enough that you can take walks at night without fear, has a great view of San Francisco, and is 15 minutes from the Oakland airport.

Going out there was a little bit stressful, but I have to say that the suggestion to use Sky Cap was genius. I will never fly without it again - at least not if I have bags and babies to worry about.

Once we were there, we got to spend some quality time hanging out with Sarah and Jacob and little Ammon, who followed Felix around expectantly waiting for something fun to happen and who inspired Amelia to try to walk more. Those three little kids had lots of fun. During our 8 days there, we took a couple of great walks, spent a couple hours at the beach (my sis's apartment complex is across the street from the beach), shopped at Trader Joe's (my new fave store, I think), visited China Town and paid way too much for lunch, hung out at the Oakland Zoo (perfect zoo for little kids - smallish and very friendly with lots of great animals and play places), drove out to Sacramento to visit Aunt Lorene and cousin-in-law Andrea (and even cousin's kid Stephanie for a little bit), went to play group with some ladies in her ward, swam in one of the apartment pools, etc. Amazingly, it didn't feel busy at all, but perfectly relaxed. It was my idea of a perfect vacation.

Alpine Loop gloriousness

2009-09-23T11:51:00.005-06:00

It's been a busy couple of weeks here. I've gotten in lots of exercise (for those not reading my fat blog, I've lost over 40 pounds so far), seen some wonderful sights, had some bizarre dreams (last night there was some kind of weird communal shower where you stepped into this alcove and just lowered a partial door to cover your important bits. that way you could talk to people while you showered. weird! night before it was some kind of zombie revolution dream.).

Following are a bunch of pics from our recent trips up the canyon. We went twice to get different kinds of light - Brent likes having good pics for drawing reference.

Pool Party

2009-09-14T15:16:00.005-06:00

It doesn't especially look like it here, but Amelia really liked this. It's a little jumpy chair in the splash pool for toddlers. She was leaning over the side and splashing in the water and sometimes would even dip her face in the water. It was really cute, but the only pic of her enjoying it was a really unfortunate picture of me. Brent is no professional when it comes to pictures of me. :) The kids both enjoyed floating in the water. We went on the lazy river a couple of times, with Felix exclaiming, "Mommy, I floating!" Amelia kicked a lot and held on tight to her life jacket. She didn't mind the water at all. In fact, I think she really liked it.
We went swimming on Saturday as the first part of a birthday party. It was very fun. After the swimming we went to Ian and Amy's house to celebrate Camlin turning 2. The second part was also very fun. Nice to hang out with them. :)

Productivity

2009-09-02T09:55:00.002-06:00

I figured out a while back that I could only really be productive about once a week. That doesn't mean I won't get anything done the other six days, just that I will be super productive one day and struggle the rest.

It's good to know myself, I guess. I mean, if I know that only on one day will I accomplish much (I'm talking about cleaning and organizing - I can do errands any day), I can actually schedule that day ahead of time.

Last week a friend of mine (I call her a friend, but I'm pretty generous with that term) moved. Since I was her visiting teacher (pretty much a church assignment), I offered to help her out. I spent 3 days over at her house cleaning and packing, and then put on a giant yard sale for her. Of course, I took over a bunch of my own crap to sell too. The yard sale started on Friday and we made about $75. Not too much, but not bad either. Since this friend was leaving that night late, I gave her the whole amount, figuring I could keep what I made on Saturday.

I made about $165. Not bad.

Besides getting royally fried (Felix too, since he spent most of both days with me), the only real frustration was that most of the people who came were Mexicans. Normally I'd be super pleased with this, but it turns out they're cheap. I figured I was being pretty darn generous with pricing toys for 50 cents and clothes the same. There were very few things that I priced more, but they were nice. I had good crap! But man, those Mexicans would pick up a huge armful of stuff and offer me $1 for it. Stuff like that all day long.

My friend Darla came at the end of the day to take all my leftovers for her fund-raising yard sale next week. It was nice to not have to worry about taking it all to DI.

All-in-all, I think it'll be a long time before I do that again.

After everything was all cleaned up, I went to a friend's house for a girls night. There were 7 of us, and it was cleansing. Man, I love those girls.

So, it took a couple of days to get back into the swing of things, but today is a productive day again. I get so sick of the state of my house (like, it totally grosses me out) that I just have to do something about it. Thankfully, at the recommendation of a couple of insightful people, I have discovered Pandora. Hooray for free internet radio and NO COMMERCIALS!!!!

A house of order

2009-08-24T14:43:00.003-06:00

I had the privilege recently of attending a few Education Week classes, courtesy of a very dear aunt and cousin. And while the first couple of classes were very good and uplifting, the most informative class I attended was one on organization.

And so, I will share some of the things I learned. I'm still working on implementing these suggestions, but it does seem at least somewhat doable.

Seven Days to Organization
by Marie Calder Ricks

Sunday
1 - Make a plan. This would be a plan for your week, a calendar, so to speak. It doesn't matter what form this plan takes, as long as you keep some form of it with you at all times. The mind is for solving problems, not for remembering. Keep memory out of the equation and you'll have a lot more brain space for doing important things.
2 - Family council. This is where you might alter your plan based on the needs of other people in the family. Plan on Sunday so you don't fight on Thursday.

Monday
1 - Desk area. You need 3 things to count it as a desk area (not necessarily an actual desk). 1) Flat surface with some space. 2) Drawer - keep all your tools for planning in one area (so you don't get up to get things and get distracted away from the task at hand). 3) File - piled paper is lost, filed paper is found.
2 - Hidden hoard of treasure trash. Everyone has it. Get rid of half. Share the surplus.

Tuesday
1 - Laundry. Everything you need to complete the task should be within easy reach. You shouldn't need to leave the area or room to get important things. Most importantly, put it away (or into the kids' baskets/rooms) while it's still warm. You'll do less ironing this way, and it will never get mountainous.
2 - Bathroom. Finish everything. Don't partially do the task. Teach kids that their shower or bath is not done till the towel is hung, the dirty clothes are in the hamper, the shower curtain is closed. Keep it small and simple and it won't ever pile up.

Wednesday
1 - Kitchen.
2 - Closets.
Four zones of organization. A) With elbows at waist, everything you can reach - things you need most often. B) Arms extended up and to your knees - need pretty often. C) On your knees or on a step stool - need only occasionally. D) Kept way back behind things where it takes some effort to get to - things you want to keep but rarely need to access.
Ask yourself - Is it useful to me now?

Thursday
1 - Shopping. Buy double, half the time. Shop early, shop alone, always use a list. These will ensure that you don't waste money on impulse purchases, and will allow you to have some stored for just in case.
2 - Use cash. No credit cards. Budget, council as a couple, buy by the year as possible.

Friday
1 - Children. Insist on obedience, resist anger. Never get angry. When parents get angry, kids are in charge. Watch until they obey. This will let them know you're serious about the request.
2 - Be early. Things come together when you're prepared. The spirit is more easily with you.

Saturday
1 - Garage. Everything that lives in the garage needs a home, a specific place so it can be put away. Discard, share, or put away. Everything.
2 - Kids' rooms. Don't make them do it alone, especially while young. Shed extra clothes and toys. It will make cleaning much simpler and more enjoyable.

Sometimes your meaning can be mistaken

2009-08-21T09:43:00.005-06:00

Daddy: Come on Felix, we're going to sleep now.

Mommy: No, I'm going to attempt to go to sleep now.

Felix: I want to go to tempt.

(much laughter)

Daddy, patting his pillow: Tempt is right here, bud.

Felix: Go to nunno (another) tempt!

(more laughter)

Mommy gets up to get paper to write it down.

Felix, getting desperate: I want to go with mommy to tempt!

(still laughing)

Felix, crying now: Go new tempt!

Man, this kid cracks me up!

And now, a photo dump.

This is a fun Japanese balloon toy Felix got while we visited his cousins in Logan (who are hosting someone from Japan) along with an allergy to bird feathers - we think.

Ammon really liked my canned peaches and even after he'd been fed, he kept trying to take them from Amelia too. She wasn't very happy about it. :)

Amelia is normally a very happy baby and she's got those amazing blues like her big brother.

My lovely sister Sarah who visited us for a week just recently.

Getting changed during a Utah Lake activity with the family.

Before the weight loss... The family outting at Utah Lake in May. Can you tell she gets her skin coloring from her dad?

What a happy slobber baby!

For some reason, Amelia really likes chewing on people's faces.

One month apart. Can you tell who was full-term and who was a preemie?

Once he's sleepy, not much can keep him awake.

Three movie review extravaganza!

2009-08-19T08:14:00.005-06:00

Here's a rundown of the last three movies we've seen in the theater:

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Chances are you already know a lot about this one, so I'll keep this short. Things grow more intense and serious as we learn about Voldemort's past and we start moving toward the conclusion of the whole thing. This is the first of the Harry Potter films that cannot stand on its own, for good or ill. If that bothers you, then this movie will bother you.

The good: Visually, the movie is fantastic. The effect of going into the memories is particularly sweet. Also, Emma Watson and Daniel Radcliffe continue to demonstrate that they were the right choice for these roles. There are some great moments of humor, particularly those scenes with Harry and Ron dealing with maturity and romantic feelings.

The bad: There are some major changes to and omissions from the story. Of course, throughout the series they have dropped side plots (like S.P.E.W., for instance), but this one is particularly spare. One glaring omission is the battle at Hogwarts during the climax.

Overall, it's good, but not as good as Prisoner of Azkaban or Order of the Phoenix.

4 stars out of 5.

G.I. Joe

Okay, confession time. There was a long period of my life when my younger brother and I were very much into G.I. Joe. I remember the time very fondly, in fact. Had I seen this movie at that time, I probably would have thought it was the coolest thing ever made. There are cool gadgets, lots of action, and some memorable characters. The acting is passable, given the script they were working with, and there's an air of fun to the whole thing.

The Good: Like I said, fun. There's some globe-trotting, some winking references to the cartoon from the '80s, some destruction, and some old-fashioned good vs. evil melodrama.

The Bad: It's cheesy, very cheesy. The special effects aren't all that special. Rather mundane, actually. Some of them looked almost unfinished. The story is goofy in the extreme. Heather and I laughed at it throughout. It is filled with "A-ha!" moments (where a character figures something out, not because we've seen them look at the evidence or we are shown a logical progression to lead them to that conclusion, but simply because the plot needs to advance at this point – as Heather is fond of saying, it's in the script!) and implausible occurrences.

Go see it if you want to see something fun and brainless. Don't go if you are expecting something that makes sense or can be taken seriously even a little teeny bit.

3 stars out of 5

District 9

Wow! This movie is cool! It's smart, well-executed, and pretty darned original as aliens-coming-to-Earth movies go. These are not the hostile aliens of Independence Day or War of the Worlds or a thousand other alien movies. These are also not the friendly, peace-loving aliens of E.T. or Close Encounters. Arriving malnourished and sick in a derelict spaceship that appeared 20 years ago over Johannesburg, South Africa, they were sorely in need of some relief efforts. In the two decades since their arrival they've become somewhat unwanted by the locals.

The location is the first hint we have that this is not your typical alien flick. It's also no accident, and it's not just because first-time director Blomkamp is South African. No, there are plenty of things here that are intended to make one think of South Africa's apartheid past. The aliens, referred to in a derogatory manner as "prawns," are kind of gross and a bit dangerous. Ultimately, because there are pretty legitimate reasons for not wanting to integrate them into the populace (a really nasty sickness, for instance), the movie loses quite a bit of its sting as a commentary on racism and immigration.

The good: The effects here are terrific! Not only are they believable (within the world constructed by the film, at any rate), but they are never an entity unto themselves. They exist because the story needs them to. The lead actor is tremendous in his part. I was utterly sucked in by his character and found him to be credible throughout, even as some pretty wild things happen to him. The character is a moron, but never cartoonish in his idiocy. You probably know some people like this guy (if you don't, it may be you).

The bad: Cardboard villains, whose only motives are nefarious. They might as well have been twirling big mustaches.

4.5 stars out of 5

Gross, but really funny

2009-08-17T11:09:00.002-06:00

While changing Felix's diaper this morning, "Bent (he doesn't quite have the "r" sound down yet), look at my green poop!"

Yesterday Felix and I took nice long naps so we were up very late. After normal bedtime but before we were tired, I did a bunch of cleaning and laundry. Got lots done. Feels great, but too bad it won't last.

We've been to some great movies lately, but Brent is going to review them for us. My nutshell reviews:

* Harry Potter was great but isn't a stand-alone movie.
* GI Joe was really campy and cheesy and the effects were terrible, but it was fun to laugh at.
* District 9 was intense and truly original and I loved it.

I finally got a new camera. I lost my previous one at Utah Lake 2 months ago. Thank goodness for cell phones with cameras, but I missed having a good camera around. Worst part was that some of the photos would get downsized to transfer and others wouldn't so some are much lower quality than regular. Brent was due for a new phone and since he wanted a camera too, we decided to get him a nice camera phone. Turns out the LG Dare has a couple of fun tricks along with a decent camera. Since it's bluetooth, you can download pics to your computer just by being in close proximity. And you can download songs onto the phone from your computer the same way. Pretty cool toy.

Summer has been filled with lots of long walks and bike rides, cleaning up Felix messes and hurrying after Amelia to keep her from danger (she's a champion stair climber now, as well as a really fast crawler). Felix is a great helper and an amazing talker. He loves making Amelia laugh. Yesterday after our nap, Amelia kept leaning over and looking at Felix with anticipation and a big grin on her face, hoping that Felix would start laughing with her. So freaking cute!

I've lost over 30 pounds of fat since I started my program a couple months ago. My clothes are starting to feel looser and people do say they can see it, but I'm still waiting for some drastic changes. Guess I just need to take pictures regularly so I can see the gradual progression. I'm going to go on vacation in January as a reward, so I better get my butt in gear.

My little sis was here for a week and we had lots of fun together. I need to get out to California to visit her there now. She says the weather in Alameda is stupendous, and since I already really like San Francisco, I think it would be a great time.

In all, this summer has been a good one. Tough financially (taxes are still kicking our trash), but filled with lots of friends and family. Good times.

Apparently I needed a nap

2009-08-09T22:11:00.002-06:00

Yesterday we had a very full day. Pampered Chef meeting in the morning (I made this awesome lemon pudding cake that was just decadent), distant Webster family reunion near Ogden in the afternoon, and then a book club (The Midwife's Apprentice - good and easy read about life in the middle ages - YA book) and Hardman picnic in the evening.

As we were finally driving home, we saw the fireworks from Lindon Days and Felix was pretty unhappy that he couldn't stay and watch them. We told him that next time we went to the store we'd look for fireworks and maybe could buy some to do at home.
This morning both kids were pretty congested. Thanks to a very generous friend, we have a nebulizer for Felix and gave him a breathing treatment both last night and this morning. The wheezing makes ME uncomfortable! We stayed home from church because I didn't want to pass on any germs, and Brent got a good nap. Then this afternoon it was my turn. I slept for about 4 hours - it was a wondrous thing!

Felix is in that stage where he is learning to use tenses for all his verbs. He's pretty good at it. The best is when he asks questions because he inflects every word, making it sound totally sing-song. It ends up being something like: Are? You? Going? To? Buy? Me? Some? Fireworks? Brent and I giggle a lot over this.

Apparently while I was sleeping this afternoon, Felix asked where I was. Brent told him I was sleeping, but Felix insisted I was at the store buying him fireworks.

Man, this kid cracks me up!

Eating

2009-08-02T18:19:00.003-06:00

My baby loves her chair. She also loves to eat just about anything. This time it was mushy zucchini and carrots. Yum!

Just remember...

2009-07-31T01:11:00.003-06:00

When heating up the homemade rice bag warmer, be careful not to heat it up too long or your house will start smelling like burned rice.

Good thing I've kept all those lonely socks without matches so I can make more. Even though it was hot and uncomfortable, it did provide relief.

Pain in the neck

2009-07-29T12:00:00.003-06:00

Literally.

I've had some massive back pain for the past couple of weeks and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. But yesterday my neck started hurting too. I woke up with it feeling tweaked and it felt like it got worse during the day.

This morning, however, it's so much worse that I had to literally lift my head with my hands to be able to sit up in bed. My pain while not moving is probably at a 3, but unguarded movements are at least a 9. This stinks. I've also got a throbbing headache and my back still hurts.

I have taken the maximum ibuprofen in the hopes that it will take the edge off, but I think I need a major muscle relaxant too. And a massage. And maybe a jacuzzi.

The pics are of the new little "high" chair that we got for Amelia. Turns out it works great if you don't have a kitchen to eat in, and both kids really like it. And a trip to the park showed that Felix has the monkey gene. :)

Awesomely bad movies

2009-07-23T10:41:00.003-06:00

A couple of weeks ago Brent and I discovered a disaster flick on TV. Luke Perry and Tia Carrere. It's called Supernova and it's all about how the sun is going to explode. In the process of exploding, it shoots flaming meteors at the earth. I hate giving away movies, but this is too good to not share. It turns out that one of the calculations is off and the sun isn't actually exploding. That's the resolution. Awesome.

Last night on a saunter through Walmart, we discovered this gem: Do you see the bottom right corner? Yep, Supernova! I was so excited. :) $5 for 4 awesomely bad movies. It's like Christmas!

So this morning I'm watching The Black Hole. There's a disaster in a nuculer (yeah, one of the main guys pronounced it like that) power plant that unleashes some kind of malicious alien. hahahahahahaha

Anyone want to do a bad movie night at my house?

The party

2009-07-18T10:58:00.002-06:00

Brent's birthday was on Wednesday and we didn't really do anything for it. We were both just very busy, and since we were planning a big party for two days later we figured it would be okay to skip the actual birthday. I mean, he's a big boy now, right?

My sister, the RN will end up with 6 overnight 12-hour shifts in 7 days by Sunday night, so I offered to take her kids on Friday at noon if I could take her oldest overnight on Thursday so she could help out. Worked out just fine.

Apparently my house was decent enough that there wasn't too much prep work till the right-before-the-party stuff, which was fortuitous. Becca and I went to a sort of Pampered Chef show on Thursday night and essentially just sat with my girlfriends and ate good Pampered Chef recipes*.

I found some sheets at DI to hang around the patio so we could be outside during the whole party and it was perfect. The breeze (and the fan) kept the air moving so it wasn't too hot, and it was just dark enough for the movie. We had lots of good food (thanks to my mom for the seashell pasta salad, and for picking up the veggie tray and shrimp cocktail platter), lots of little kids running around enjoying things, and lots of good adult conversation.

After almost everyone left, we cleaned up everything, put a movie on for my nieces and nephews, and Brent and his friend Ian played video games outside on the projector for a couple of hours. Late night! But oh, so pleasant.

I think we'll have to do it again soon. :)

Thanks to all who showed up. And to those of you who couldn't make it - we missed you. Next time, hopefully.

*Southwest Salad
Dressing:
3/4 cup ranch dressing
1 jalapeno seeded and finely chopped
2 tsp taco seasoning
1 TBS lime juice
Salad:
1 can olives sliced
1 red bell pepper chopped
1 head romaine lettuce
1 can rinsed black beans
1/2 cup corn (I used about half a bag of sweet frozen corn slightly thawed and it was perfect)
2 cups diced cooked chicken
1 avocado
2 tomatoes chopped

*Mushroom Bread
1 pkg refrigerated crescent rolls spread out on a stoneware pan or round
2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms
2 TBS melted butter
1/4 cup grated Parmesan
1/4 tsp dried Italian seasoning
fresh minced garlic (maybe 2 TBS - we all really liked garlic)

Toss the mushrooms in the melted butter and spread over the crescent rolls. Sprinkle with Parmesan, Italian seasoning, and garlic. Bake at 375 for 15-20 minutes in preheated oven - or until golden brown.

*I did also make a fruit pizza but I made that up as I went along.

The cake

2009-07-17T16:25:00.006-06:00

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Cherry-pickin' fools

2009-07-11T13:26:00.002-06:00

This is what we did this morning: Weather was perfect, and these cherries are mighty tasty. I'm going to give a bunch away and pit the rest. I think I'll make a fruit salad for this evening, and juice a bunch. Then I'll freeze the rest for future use. Anyone want some lovely golden Queen Anne cherries?

She's mobile!

2009-07-11T00:06:00.003-06:00

And still all sorts of adorable. Still almost no hair, but what is there is red. Intense blue eyes. She's very ticklish and we love the anticipation laughs we get from her when she knows she's about to be tickled.

She's not very coordinated, but she can get around if she doesn't think too hard about it.

She loves solids. She'll put anything in her mouth and loves all kinds of flavors. If you hold anything too close, she'll grab it and try to eat it. She loves other people's knuckles, but still has no teeth. She'll drink from a cup but doesn't really know what to do with it. It's fun to watch, that's for sure.

She still sleeps through the night almost always. She smiles a lot and loves her jumpy chair. She's extremely wiggly. It's hard to get her out of the car seat because, being so anxious to get out she tries to push her way out and you have to put the handle down or you'll bonk her head on the way out.

She loves sitting on her dad's lap watching him work on his computer while she takes a bottle and she's getting just slightly more snuggly. Really she wants to see what's going on. She'll watch intently if anything is on tv or on the movie screen (she had a better attention span at 4 months than Felix does now at 2 1/2 years).

If she's rolling around on the floor and your toes are visible she'll try to eat them.

7 1/2 months, and Amelia is so very entertaining. How happy we are to have her in our family!

Overheard

2009-07-08T10:38:00.002-06:00

"Are you coming over here, Batman?" I wish there was some way to describe all the inflections of his voice as he says things like this. It's only been in the past couple of weeks that he says complete sentences. Like: "Go get me a bottle mommy, please."

The Batman thing is recent. I think he started it because I have Batman bandaids, but apparently they're now friends or something.

Monday Monday

2009-07-07T00:28:00.002-06:00

Saturday was a great day. I spent hours filling water balloons and it turned out to be a big hit (although I should have filled the buckets with water apparently, because it equalizes the pressure). There was a water slide that Felix loved, a dunk tank, lots of good food, etc.

Sunday morning Brent and I were still recovering from our week-long colds, so we skipped church. Felix had a 3 1/2 hour nap, which was probably foreshadowing today's adventure. He woke up this morning, took a morning bottle (he only gets like 2 a day), and within an hour had thrown up everything. But even immediately after his bottle he wouldn't let me put him down. He's normally a very cheerful little kid and a total delight first thing in the morning. Not today.

By about 5 this afternoon he was finally ready for something to eat. He had a half a bottle and a small cup of juice. Half an hour later that was up too. So, if he didn't have anything in his stomach, he was still dry heaving stomach juices. Poor kid was so miserable he couldn't even stand up.

I finally snuck out of the house about 10:30 to take Lauren home (niece was bored so she came to visit and help) and get some groceries. He has since kept down another half a bottle and fallen asleep.

I don't like having sick kids. They make me feel helpless. I don't like being an adult. Well, most of the time that's true. It's tough!

Crankypants

2009-06-30T21:02:00.003-06:00

I've been feeling especially cranky lately. Maybe it's the two kids I babysit every day that test every last nerve I have. Maybe it's that I still get not enough sleep. Maybe it's that I seem to be in some kind of holding pattern. It's almost as if I'm waiting for the good stuff to happen, biding my time, gritting my teeth through the every-day crap.

I'm cranky with everyone, and it seems (to me at the very least) to be about anything. I have lots of good experiences. Went walking with Juanita last night and it was wonderful. Spent most of today at my sister's house for my nephew's 4th birthday party. The kids sleep most of the way through the night. We finally got a stove/oven (thanks to my brother and his wife, who thought it was broken and replaced it - it's not broken, just needed to be reset) for the kitchen so there is progress.

So what's the good stuff I'm waiting for? I don't know. It's a vague sense of unease. I'm really hoping that my appointment on Thursday with Dan proves the fitness plan to be still working. I just want this to be over. I honestly don't know what the deal is.

It's not cabin fever. It's not that time of the month. It's not mid-life crisis (I'm only 36!).

Maybe it's just waiting for the headache to go away. I can't remember the last time I didn't have it. blah.

Movie Review: Fired Up!

2009-06-27T00:32:00.002-06:00

I would wait to review this, but I want to get it out there. This movie has a lot of swearing. It also sort of has nudity and lots of "gay" jokes and references. It's completely immoral.

Despite all this, I haven't laughed so hard in a really long time. This movie is HILARIOUS! It's dirty, so if you get offended by any of the stuff above you'll want to stay away. "I'm just saying."

You know how so many movies show all the good stuff in the previews? Well, this movie didn't. I mean, there was lots of good stuff in the previews, but there was lots more that wasn't shown. Brent and I laughed consistently through the entire movie.

Again, it's dirty. It's immoral. It's filthy. And it's fun.

Rated PG-13 - it earns that mark through swearing, implied nudity (covered), and really off-color humor. Interestingly, it's not derogatory in its humor (some people might disagree, I'm sure).

Anyway, there you have it. A very successful parody of a sport movie.

Progress

2009-06-25T09:37:00.003-06:00

Felix is speaking a lot more lately. He talks all the time and tries really hard to do things himself. And he's using pretty close to complete sentences.

Last week he insisted "WeWe change bum", but when he was down on his back he couldn't figure out how to take his pants off. He felt around, paused, and said, "help!" We all got a good laugh out of it, but he did basically change his own bum. Kind of fun. We've tried pull-ups on him but he just uses them like diapers. He's still using the potty chair whenever he's naked - very regular and no accidents. I think it might be a while before he doesn't need some kind of protection at night, but I consider this great progress.

On Tuesday morning I asked him to go get a diaper so I could change him and before going anywhere he called out: "Biper! Are you in closet?" Awesome. Man I love that little kid.

Amelia is the great sleeper of the family. I still nurse her almost every day. Just for a few minutes, but we both still like it. She's a champ with the bottle too though. The nicest thing is that Brent is able to spend lots of time with her and I'm able to sleep in. Well, till Felix wakes up, usually around 7. Not much of a sleep-in, but every minute counts!

As I posted a couple weeks ago, I've started a new fitness thing. I haven't been nearly as good as I need to be, but the numbers are still moving. I'm up to almost 1600 calories a day, and I've already lost 10 pounds in the last 2 weeks. And that's with lots of cheating and slip-ups. I haven't really done very well at all, but I'm still making progress. That's some serious motivation to keep going. Thankfully, the foods I'm eating are all things that I do actually like. The biggest changes are that I'm eating less at a time but a lot more often. My worst eating habit was to go like 6+ hours without eating and then pigging out. Now I have to eat every 2 to 3 hours. It's tougher than it sounds. But results, man!

So, progress is being made. Our kitchen is finally ready for a stove and we've got one that will be moved as soon as we can commandeer a truck to the AF/Orem area for an hour. Felix is talking and being as fun as ever. Amelia is on the brink of crawling and holding her own bottle (freedom!). And I'm losing weight. Brent hasn't changed, but he's doing fine too.

The end.

Oh, I joined Twitter. I have no idea what to do with it yet, but I joined. As far as I can tell it's just another way to waste time on the web. My favorite person to stalk is Wil Wheaton. Remember him? Wesley Crusher from Star Trek Next Generation. He's hilarious.

Movie Review: Swing Vote

2009-06-22T22:37:00.002-06:00

Turns out Kevin Costner can actually act. Who knew?

Swing Vote is a really far-fetched movie about a presidential election that all comes down to one voter. They try to explain things, but we do know this could never happen.

Thank goodness though, because Bud is NOT the person with whom you want to trust the country.

Now that you know everything about the movie, you need to know a little bit of other stuff. Like that this movie does actually make you think about how little we know about issues. Or that beer makes you stupid.

Oh wait, we already knew the thing about beer.

This movie is a bit over the top, but it does make you laugh and think. There's swearing (because apparently rednecks do a lot of that), but nothing else objectionable. It's interesting even though it is about a stupid drunk guy who's a deadbeat dad and knows nothing about politics. I really liked it.

I give this 3 1/2 out of 5 stars. Not perfect, but a pretty good ride.

Movie Review: The Proposal

2009-06-22T08:58:00.002-06:00

Brent and I snuck out for a late movie on Saturday, leaving the kids within earshot of their grandma. The showing we wanted was sold out, surprising Brent but not me, so we ended up a bit later than we expected and wanted.

That being said, we had a great evening out.

The Proposal is about a super mean Canadian book editor who essentially blackmails her adorable and desperate (to be a book editor too) assistant into marrying her so she won't get deported.

It's predictable if you're paying attention, but the chemistry and physical comedy of the actors is so fun that it works anyway. Sandra Bullock is cute as ever, even if she is looking older. Ryan Reynolds is, um, drool-worthy.

There is one scene that I thought was a bit too much. Margaret (Sandra) gets out of the shower and, not seeing any towels, has a few moments on screen naked. Now, nothing explicit is shown, but covering your parts with hands and arms doesn't really do it for me. I was disappointed, thought it was a bit off-putting. When the two naked people (he strips on the balcony to get in the shower not realizing she is home) run into each other, you get the side view. Again, disappointing. Not that the view is bad, just completely unnecessary. You know?

I hate when movies I like have one scene that has really objectionable stuff. It really does ruin the movie for me. I guess I would consider owning this movie (and showing it to others) if I had a filter and could take out that scene. I did like it, and despite the scene, it has heart and is filled with beautiful (albeit fake) Alaskan scenery (it was filmed in Massachussettes and Rhode Island) and the leads are really fun to watch.

So, ignoring the scene, The Proposal gets 4 out of 5 stars. Not ignoring the scene, it only gets 2 1/2. Yeah, it bothered me that much. If that stuff doesn't bother you, you'll probably like it a lot. If it does bother you, wait till it's out on video and you can watch it with a filter over at my house. :)

I am your new Pampered Chef lady

2009-06-17T07:56:00.003-06:00

That's right, I joined an MLM. But since they concentrate a lot more on the products than on building your business through recruitment, I'm totally okay with that. Especially since I love the products.

I had my first party last night. It went fine, and amazingly enough, I'm just more excited about doing it. I'm going to get a website for internet orders soon, but in the meantime you can contact me to get all sorts of kitchen goodies.

I might hit you up to host a party. All that means is that you invite some people over for free food and a kitchen tool demonstration (there is the option of a catalog show where you just pass around catalogs and collect orders from anyone interested). Sounds easy enough, right? I promise there will never be any pressure to buy. I'm just not that kind of salesperson. :) Considering I'm right at the beginning (and really just testing it all out), I need practice.

Thank goodness I love to cook with good kitchen tools, and eat healthy and interesting food. Right?

Just a few recent pics

2009-06-12T16:03:00.000-06:00

My fat blog

2009-06-10T11:17:00.002-06:00

Since I don't really want to make this a blog all about being fat, I've taken that elsewhere. You can find all the information about training with Dan over at Say Goodbye, Fatty!

Funny story... When I went to talk to Dan on Monday he asked about my husband. Of course I need his support to make this journey, but it turns out that Dan and Brent grew up in the same ward in Brigham City and Dan was even Brent's piano teacher for about a year. How's that for a small world?

Anyway, I'll only put up milestones here so you don't have to worry about lots of fat talk. For that, head over to the other blog. Thanks. :)

Movie Review: UP

2009-06-05T22:52:00.002-06:00

A+ I don't know what else I should say. Honestly, it was amazing, fantastic, heart-warming, hilarious, impressive (the 3-D was awesome), entertaining (no slow parts), and lots of other positive adjectives.

Within the first 10 or 15 minutes you're crying and completely invested in the characters. And by the end you're almost hoping you can get Christmas cards from the characters because you feel so close to them. And they feel so real!

This movie is great for all ages. It is among the best of Pixar's arsenal, and that's saying a lot considering that movie house is behind Finding Nemo and The Incredibles.

Honestly, my only complaint was that there was no short movie at the beginning. But not like the movie itself has faults.

Rated PG, appropriate for everyone (and, more importantly, entertaining for everyone), etc. Go see it and love it with me. :)

An Act of Pure Selfishness

2009-05-28T07:47:00.003-06:00

I have come to the conclusion that it's time to wean Amelia. I know that some people may see this as almost unforgivable, but there are many reasons. I'll tell you about a few, not to excuse myself, but so that you might understand the torment that has gone into this decision.

1. Amelia has been a champion eater since she was born. This is in stark contrast to Felix, who struggled the entire time he breastfed. Even nursing well, it hasn't been a great experience. I've had one terrible yeast infection (the pain associated was excruciating) and one plugged milk duct (again, the pain - this time on the other side). But despite generic health, I've been in constant discomfort (those who have nursed will surely remember their own experience).

2. I own one bra that fits. It cost me $40 and I can't afford another one. It was the biggest one they had in the store. I'm sick of shopping at specialty stores for things that barely fit.

3. Amelia has started on food besides milk. She LOVES food. Anything she can get in her mouth. She loves cereal, hard things to chomp on (no sign of teeth yet) like carrots, soft things to chomp on (she really liked the tree of broccoli I gave her this weekend), and she'll lick everything to death if she can hold it that long. 4. Amelia has a bad habit or two associated with nursing. The first she developed was to chomp down and then yank. Thank goodness she has no teeth yet or there might be blood. Seriously, yeowch! The other habit is to only eat on one side. I haven't figured out what her deal is, but that can be painful too, especially first thing in the morning.

5. I can't lose weight. I can't even begin to express my dissatisfaction with my body right now. I know what to do, but I can't nurse if I'm going to do it. I saw myself in a mirror yesterday and was purely disgusted with my reflection.

6. I'm in near-constant pain. I blame this on a few things, most notably the weight and lack of sleep. Interestingly, the weight and the sleep are tied together too. When I weigh less, I sleep better. The poor sleep, tossing and turning, is killing my back, and I'm having more and more headaches from the sleep deprivation.

7. I've been told not to take my RLS medication while nursing. I guess this is tied to #6. I'm sick of my legs twitching all the time. I dream about getting good sleep. That may seem difficult, but you could almost call them day-dreams. I'm not really all the way asleep.

8. Tied to all the frustrations (sleep, weight, nursing issues) is a general crankiness. It's made worse by my feeling that I have no control over my life. I see myself taking that frustration out on my family and it makes me really sad. I don't want to be cranky anymore. I don't want to be sad and angry and in pain.

So, that's it. This is my "new year's day". My resolution is to lose about 50% of my current body fat. That may seem like a lot, but I've got plenty to lose. I'm guessing it'll end up being about 100 pounds. I don't especially like talking about how fat I am. But I need your help. I need your support and your understanding. I'll need you to please keep the temptations away as much as possible. To encourage me appropriately. To sympathize with the struggle. I'm sure most of you do silently already to some point.

I will be posting my progress here. I'm going to start by weaning in the next week or two. Softening the blow to Amelia is a large store of milk I have in the freezer that I pumped when she was a newborn. As soon as that weaning is complete, I will embark on the weight loss. I'm serious this time. Because I'm desperate this time.

Swings (and some other stuff)

2009-05-15T15:47:00.003-06:00

Our faithful swing died a couple of days ago. The really hard part about this is that the swing happens to be the place that Amelia sleeps during the day. Brent took it apart to see if he could get the motor running again and he couldn't. I got what's known as a cradle swing from my cousin for really cheap because the swinging motion was broken. I figured we could try it out (we got it before ours died) and even just push it, but Amelia didn't really like it at all. I think part of the problem was that it didn't sit up at all.

We went a couple of days with no swing and it was terrible. Amelia is as addicted to a swing as we are. And yet she won't stay in the travel swing or in the cradle swing. Gah!

We finally got desperate and went and bought one today. I did some research yesterday and even looked at Craigslist and ksl classifieds. There were no used ones of the kind I wanted though - at least nobody responded. She settled into the swing as soon as it was put together and within about 10 minutes was snoring peacefully. So Brent is taking a nap and I would too if Felix weren't still up. At least I've finally got my hands free again! Hooray!

This is Amelia in her "intent" look. She does this a lot. We tried to get her on video but it didn't work. Basically, she was standing on Brent's lap chomping on this binky (the ONLY one she'll take) and pulling it out of her mouth. It was as if she couldn't figure out why it kept coming out. She'd clamp down as hard as she could and then she'd yank on it and pop it out. She looked pretty confused about it and kind of frustrated too. We laughed anyway, of course. Oh, this picture is of couch throw-up. Brent went through and dug out all the corners. Lo and behold, my wallet turned up. I'm so happy that I don't have to chance another trip to the DMV. I actually liked my drivers license pic for once!

WeWe's First Joke

2009-05-08T11:58:00.004-06:00

I honestly didn't think that kids this young knew anything about humor. Felix, however, has a well-developed sense of fun. He enjoys making his parents laugh, so we oblige him as often as we can.

We've been encouraging Felix to potty train but haven't pushed it. And from the beginning, if his bum is naked he will always go in his potty chair to pee.

One day last month Felix was running around in just a t-shirt to give him the chance to go in his own "to-yut" and I was sitting here at my computer on the couch. He came up to me and with a big mischievous grin, said "Pee Mommy?" Huh what?!

Felix found the hat and the sunglasses and slippers and insisted he wear them all. I've been trying to encourage him to take fewer bottles, but he's resisting quite effectively so far. Only thing I've found that works at all is to distract him - keep his belly full and the bottles out of site. He'll still insist if he's especially upset though.

Toddlers certainly are a handful. A giant entertaining handful.

Movie Review: Star Trek

2009-05-07T07:12:00.004-06:00

I promise I don't just watch movies. I really do other things too. However, yesterday was a stressful and frustrating day, so when my dear cousin Rob said he could get tickets to see Star Trek a few days early (the Utah premiere, how fun!) I figured it might be just what the doctor ordered. Turned out it was a perfect foil to my crappy day.

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'
I don't know how many of you are familiar with The Onion. I got a good laugh out of this clip even before I saw the film. Now I love it even more.

I don't want to give it away. All you need to know is that this movie is fun. It's full of amazing action and effects, there are no slow parts that make you think about going to do something else, the cast is perfect (I did hear some nitpicky comments like: "Bones doesn't have blue eyes" and "Sulu is played by a Korean instead of a Japanese guy", but the feel of the characters is right on and they look great too), and overall, it's FUN. I don't think you have to be a die-hard Trekker/Trekkie to enjoy this. In fact, I don't think it's important to have any familiarity with the show at all. I do think you'll get more out of it if you've seen at least a few episodes of the original show, but otherwise it's completely stand-alone. And it totally works.

I honestly can't wait to see it again. Still makes me chuckle under my breath when I think about it. Man, I needed that last night.

It's rated PG-13 for intense action (although I'm pretty sure the only slightly objectionable thing in it is a bedroom scene that lasts about a minute - you see two people in their underwear, so if your kids can handle that, they'll be fine with the rest - really).

Per Ethan's suggestion, I'm changing my rating scale to 5 stars. And I give this movie all 5. Yeah, I really did like it that much.

Update: check out this review for a lot more detail. Good review. I totally agree.

Movie Review: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2009-05-05T10:02:00.003-06:00

It's hard to know where to start without giving anything away. I mean, I don't want to ruin the movie or anything.

If you go to see this movie, make sure to get there early. If you don't, you may have to send your husband to the front row while you sit on the stairs so your head doesn't explode. You may have to go around asking 15 people if the empty seats next to them are saved (they are), or have the guy in the handicapped seats next to the stair where you're sitting go ask someone else to save his spot so you won't take it while he runs out to see if his friend is there yet (jerk, I would have given it back if you had asked me to hold it for you - happily even since the stair was supremely uncomfortable and it would have meant 2 minutes of comfort).

But the real reason why you want to get there early is that a lot of the so-called origin of Wolverine is shown during the opening credits. We got to the end of the credits and I was thinking, "so, what's left to tell? Now we know everything!" Not quite. Yeah, his true beginning is during the credits, but after that you get his story. You start to understand why he's hardened and bitter and on the wild side. You see the relationships that shape his character. And it's a perfect back-story to the 3 previous X-Men movies.

This movie is never slow, but it does slow down here and there. But those parts are important too. The movie is quite intense in action, but there's nothing more violent or gory than the X-Men movies.

If you liked those, and you like the character of Wolverine, go see this and you'll like him even more. If you didn't like him before, you might just after seeing this. It's a thrill ride, that's for sure.

I liked this movie a lot. Brent thinks it has some issues, but I think he's nitpicking. Seriously, if you knew what those issues were, then you'd be some kind of an expert that is completely unnecessary to the enjoyment of the movie. Just go see it and let yourself enjoy the ride.

It's rated PG-13 for violence - about on par with the other movies. I give it 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. I think I need a different rating system.

Road Rage

2009-05-02T01:19:00.002-06:00

To the guy who honked and flipped me off today when I "cut him off" on Center St in Orem during rush hour: You were crossing two lanes of traffic without a turn signal and it looked like you were going to turn in where I was coming out.

I'm sorry I cut you off, but you're still a big fat jerk in a stupid little car.

Bread and Sickness

2009-04-30T22:57:00.008-06:00

Felix likes to help. Like with everything. "WeWe help!" is something we hear a lot around here. He's even tried to helpfully get his little sister out of the swing for me before. Yikes!

So when his bahma made bread last week, he jumped right in.

(Amelia doesn't cuddle. Like ever. But when she's ready to sleep, she loves her daddy's shoulder like nothing else.)

We found a spider. Let me be clear, we find a lot of spiders around here. It's been worse in the past, but I'm hoping the hobos will stay away from the kids. This one was red, so after I hit it with a shoe (it was sauntering down the hallway) I took a picture. Anyone know what kind this is? Felix went to spend the day with his cousin Luke on Monday. Would have been perfect if Luke hadn't been totally snotty. Felix got it full force. Not sure what's up with Amelia, but she's been really fussy lately too. Felix is coughing so hard he's been throwing up. Poor kids are both miserable. And that means Brent and I are pretty miserable too. Thank heavens for simple pleasures: (works perfectly with our toaster oven. We can get 8 cookies on the little tray so we each get 4. Makes us feel like we're getting a huge treat but keeps us from totally pigging out. Yeah, so some people's definitions of "pigging out" is like 3 cookies, but mine is at least 5.)

Movie Review: Monsters vs. Aliens

2009-04-27T12:45:00.003-06:00

Catching up on the movie reviews...
I can't leave this one out. It's Dreamworks, which won't matter to you unless you know anything about movie studios. This is made by the same people that made the Shrek movies, not all the lovable Pixar or Disney movies. The fact that I loved it (Brent did too) says a lot.

This has great casting - the voices work well with the characters, and they're not so unique to the actors that you can't help but think about those actors when you hear them.

The characters are developed well too. There's enough background on the most important one - Susan (the really tall one) - that you feel connected to her. You care about what happens. And yet, you're not bogged down by too much back story.

In a quick synopsis, a group of so-called monsters is recruited to battle an evil alien.

We saw the movie in 3-D and enjoyed it immensely. It was very fun, had great pacing, the effects were wonderful, and we're crossing our fingers that it is released in 3-D.

Monsters vs. Aliens is rated PG for some mild peril, I guess. If you see it in 3-D, it costs extra for the glasses, but I think it's worth it. Matinee perhaps?

I give it 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. Yeah, I know my last few have all gotten the same score. They've all been very good movies, but for very different reasons. This one happens to be great for the whole family. :)

Movie Review: Slumdog Millionaire

2009-04-25T21:27:00.004-06:00

This is a story about a kid from the slums of Mumbai getting on the show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. That's really all there is to it, but this movie is a lot more complex than it seems.

It starts out with the guy winning lots of money on the show and being arrested on suspicion of fraud. The movie is basically him telling the cops how he knew the answers.

This all being said, the movie is haunting and devastating and hopeful and beautiful.

It is a series of events. Just a series of events. It is rated R because those events are often intensely unpleasant.

If you're not vehemently opposed to seeing rated R movies, this is one to see. I give it 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. It really does deserve all the accolades it gets.

Movie Review: Pan's Labyrinth

2009-04-23T12:54:00.005-06:00

Brent and I finally got around to watching this. Netflix is awesome, by the way. It starts out with a little girl in 1944 in Spain, so you kind of get the immediate feeling that war is the background. Her mother gets married to some beastly general-type and about 8 months pregnant, they go out to the country to be with him. He says his son should be born where his father is.

This step-father is a cruel piece of work, and since her mother is confined to bedrest, the little girl goes off in the woods, finding a labyrinth.

Does it sound at all familiar? There are definite magical elements to the story, what with this girl's contact with other-worldly creatures, but the story feels familiar. It feels a bit like Spiderwick Chronicles, a little like Secret Garden, and a bunch of other stories. But this really is unique. It's haunting and compelling and it draws you in. It leaves you feeling all sorts of conflicting emotions, but I promise that's a good thing.

Oh, this is the movie that M. Night Shyamalan should have made instead of that disaster Lady in the Water. This is what a made-up fairytale with a dark twist should look like.

Pan's Labyrinth is rated R for some graphic war violence (all at the hands of this general guy - there's not a lot, but it's enough to make you cringe and hate the guy). Also, it's in Spanish. I give it 3 1/2 out of 4 stars. Not for everyone, but a very good show.

Felix's angel

2009-04-19T15:48:00.002-06:00

A post for a Sunday

2009-04-19T15:33:00.006-06:00

I'm exhausted. Even though Amelia is consistently sleeping through the night (oh, what joy... she sleeps from about 8:30 at night till about 6:30 in the morning), I'm not getting nearly enough sleep. I'm sure it's partially because I get crappy sleep. It's just never enough.

My foot hurts. I have no idea why. It actually hurts in two different spots, and each spot hurts very differently. Seriously, no idea.

Went to Chris Heimerdinger's wedding reception yesterday. Nice to see him happy. He's had a couple years of weirdness.

Saw my adorable friend Jenica yesterday for a Pampered Chef party. Pleasant. Plus, I love Pampered Chef. I think I'm going to host a party. Anyone interested? I just want the opportunity to buy more goods for myself honestly. :)

And I bought a new bra. I'm not sure if any men read my blog, and if they do I apologize in advance. I was shocked at the size I had to buy, but extremely happy with the results. 44L. Yeah.

It took me an hour and a half to get Amelia asleep at church and then Felix needed immediate attention. Brent told me after church that she had woken up as soon as I left her with him to take Felix. She's down now, probably for a good 4 hour nap.

and that's exactly where I want to be. I did take some fun pics this week, so I'm posting them. They don't exactly need explanation, so enjoy! (in this picture Felix is fast asleep. He stayed that way - standing up and supporting himself with his arms out - till I tickled his hand and he moved his arm and fell down. I felt guilty.)

Misunderstood

2009-04-15T22:40:00.002-06:00

Why is it that so many people seem eager almost to misunderstand others' words? It feels like they just want an excuse to get angry or offended or depressed.

What's so wrong with giving people the benefit of the doubt? I don't think that trusting and protecting yourself are mutually exclusive behaviors.

There is nothing to gain from ascribing the most negative motives possible to everyone in your life. It's selfish and prideful to assume that everyone is as callous or mean as you are. It just makes everyone involved miserable. It drives people away, destroys connections, kills all potential friendship.

Life is much too short.

(Please understand that we are all guilty of pessimism at times. If you think this is too harsh, then maybe it's aimed at you. Sorry, I get blunt when I'm sleep deprived. I love you all anyway.)

Family visit and petting zoo

2009-04-07T18:56:00.008-06:00

My sister and her husband came up from Arizona for conference weekend, but on Sunday they went to California - where they are now stationed. We compared babies - Ammon was born the end of October and Amelia was born the end of November. What do you think about the size difference? It was a great visit and I look forward to visiting them in San Francisco sometime soon.

Yesterday Amelia got two shots at the doctor's office. Instead of going home, we took my sister Judy to see her doctor because she wasn't feeling great. Turned out it was more serious even than she thought and she was admitted to the hospital.

Felix got a call from his cousin Luke who wanted to play with him, but since I was busy with Judy at the hospital we decided to have the boys play today. I thought it would be nice to take the kids to the petting zoo, and we decided their cousin Genevieve should come too.

So, here are a couple of pictures from our trip to the petting zoo at Thanksgiving Point. It was a very fun day...

Better Pic?

2009-04-04T23:26:00.002-06:00

I was told that maybe if I cropped the pic I would look better instead of older. I know I need lots of good sleep and a much better angle and lighting. But I really think that shorter hair looks better on me. I guess I don't really care if you agree or not. I like it and that's really all that matters. Right?

A weight has been lifted

2009-04-02T15:34:00.006-06:00

... from my head! Here are the before and after pics:

I was so sick of wearing my hair in a pony tail every single day. Especially since I have to wear it up at night because otherwise it chokes me and wakes me up. Who knew that hair would want to wind itself around your neck as you sleep?

I took my mom and Felix and both my mom and I got our hair done. We walked the half a mile to Devron's house for the appointments. On the way home I felt so, well, free. To feel the breeze on my scalp and not have to pull my hair out from my collar was a fantastic feeling. I put it off way too long.

Knowing

2009-03-28T16:30:00.002-06:00

Brent and I finally got out for an anniversary treat. Felix was sick on Wednesday - about 3 weeks after it started originally. Poor kid has been thoroughly trounced by this flu going around, and that's on top of the terrible cold that we got.

Anyway, last night we went to see Knowing. We took Amelia with us because she has proved to be un-babysittable still. Besides the fact that she was kind of fussy, the movie experience was a good one.

Here's my take on the movie...

It's a disaster movie and an alien movie, although you don't really know either till almost the end. It's about a guy, Nicolas Cage, whose son finds a page of numbers in a time capsule that was buried 50 years previously. While looking over this page of numbers, Nic finds that the numbers predict dates, locations, and numbers of people who will die at those places/times.

Don't worry, there's a lot more to this movie that I'm not giving away. And honestly, I got all of this in the previews. Here's the thing. A lot of people think this movie is hokey. Yeah, a bit. And I don't think Nicolas Cage is any kind of great actor. But this role works for him. The movie feels like a combination of War of the Worlds, Contact, Armageddon, and maybe Day After Tomorrow.

But it's a good combination. It's a fun combination. Don't expect this to be a great movie, but know that if you don't expect too mcuh, you may just really enjoy yourself.

Three Years

2009-03-25T16:28:00.004-06:00

Brent and I got married three years ago. It surprises me sometimes just how naturally we kind of fell into being a couple. As much as I had struggled in my dating life - 16 years - half of my life when I finally met Brent, we didn't even have a hiccup. In November of 2005 we had never heard of each other. And in March of 2006 we just, well, were. It's not like we've had things easy. We started out in our 30's, both with a great deal of debt, and both overweight. We had baggage from our pasts, but neither of us flinched to take it on. We had been perfectly prepared for each other and for each other's crap.

I know, it sounds terribly romantic. We do actually like each other, but we're also uniquely suited to deal with each other.

On the way, we've dealt with a lot of hardship. It's really not that interesting. We've had sickness and financial woes. Lots of sickness and financial woes. We're still living with family.

But on the other side of things, we've dealt with a lot of good too. Because we've lived with family, we've been able to make serious headway on our debt. We have two beautiful children that are pretty healthy. Brent works at home, which allows me quite a bit of freedom with the kids. My job survived the cutbacks, but only barely. But because of the progress we've made, we no longer need my income.

Here's what I've learned:
Marriage is tough. It really does require the constant commitment and repentance and lots of introspection. It requires sacrifice and ear plugs. It often smells bad and is very messy. But it gives good stuff in return. The sense of peace and comfort and understanding is powerful. The companionship alone balances out almost all of the bad.

And personally, I've learned that Brent really is a wonderful father. I've learned that although our communication styles are vastly different, we can grow as people by compromise. We can still make each other laugh. We're still very much on the same page in all aspects of life. We've figured out how to support each other in our various pursuits and interests. We don't need to agree on everything, but we do need to back each other up. And we make really cute babies. See?!

It was a good day for a walk...

2009-03-19T20:30:00.000-06:00

Visible progress

2009-03-15T10:52:00.005-06:00

And the finished product...

more complicated

2009-03-11T00:34:00.002-06:00

Brent and I have discovered that one of the most significant changes from one child to two is that sicknesses are insanely more difficult. There is essentially no relief because both parents are now needed full-time.

Amelia started getting snorty last week. They cost very little, but those little blue booger suckers are invaluable. I would also recommend saline. It loosens everything. Yeah, I'm sure you didn't want to know that, but if you have kids, you probably already do. If you don't, look into it. It's really that good.

Felix and I got the cold full force on Saturday. Lots and lots of head congestion. By Monday morning my congestion was firmly settled into my lungs and Felix started running a fever. On Monday Felix couldn't keep anything down. He did keep stuff down for long enough that he didn't get dehydrated. And he seemed to pull out of it in the evening - at least for a little bit.

Tuesday was worse for me but better for Felix. I mean, I've felt rotten since Saturday, but Tuesday was my first down day because Felix seemed to be over the hump. Still coughing a lot, but running around and pretty cheerful.

It was not to last, however. He's running a fever again and seems miserable. Although he fell asleep about 9:15, he's been tossing and turning and crying since then. And since I can't sleep through that kind of thing, I'm up with him.

So here we are past 1 am on Wednesday. My headache has subsided, thanks to a whole lot of ibuprofen, and Felix is down for the moment. I'm afraid tomorrow is going to be tough, since Amelia didn't go down till about half an hour ago, meaning that Brent is just winding down now. I'm starting to wonder if she's got a touch of what Felix has. I hate having sick children simply for the fact that I feel so helpless to comfort them.

I spoke too soon

2009-03-09T11:41:00.002-06:00

Felix is sicker than just a bad cold. :(
Amelia seems to be dealing with her cold just fine. And as some kind of parental reward for having a difficult first child, she has started sleeping most of the way through the night. Last night it was 11:30 till 7:30. Too bad Felix was up most of the night with stomach cramps.

A churchy analogy

2009-03-08T22:56:00.002-06:00

Say you have a sick child. This poor thing is just miserable and no matter what you do, you can't make them feel any better because they just push you away.

Then this poor child throws up. Doesn't make it to the bathroom and just plasters himself (or herself) head to toe. The child cries, hopeless and even more miserable than before.

What do you do then? As a parent, do you push him away? Do you send him to his room because he made a mess and needs to learn his lesson?

Any loving parent would take that child in their arms. Comfort him. Hold him close and tell him it's going to be okay. Stroke his hair away from his face while he cries.

And no real parent would love his child any less.

It is in times of extreme mess that Heavenly Father wants most to comfort us. He wants us to know it will be okay. He still loves us, no matter how yucky we might think we are. No matter how much sin, no matter how much revulsion we have for ourselves, He loves us and wants us to feel better.

Repentance is just cleaning up the mess. It may smell bad, but it's always better to get rid of it completely than to just live with the mess. And He won't mind helping - if we'll let Him.

The Week of the ____ache

2009-03-06T08:09:00.002-07:00

Not getting enough sleep has a definite negative affect on me. My back, neck, and head have been killing me all week.

Being in pretty much constant pain makes progress difficult. My house is a wreck. Felix's room is at an almost standstill (I say almost because every couple of days something small gets done or at least started).

I'd love to blame the mess on Felix. I mean, he's quite the little tornado. He seems to feel the need to displace everything. For example, I found a cutting board in the bathroom the other day. I can't blame everything on him though. Everyone who has experienced terrible headaches or migraines knows that bending over can be a problem. That means that what ends up on the floor often has to stay there for at least a little while.

I've been living week to week lately. It would be day to day, but Lost is only on once a week. I'm so in love with that show! I've decided that the winter belongs to Lost and American Idol. I have no idea what I'll do when Lost ends after next year.

Anyway, still working on the house, just very very slowly. The nice weather has been helpful in getting out of the house. Walks with Felix have been very pleasant. Too bad I can't tell if it's making my aches better or worse. Maybe they're indifferent.

By way of explanation

2009-02-28T08:10:00.005-07:00

My cute nephew took this picture on his phone when we blessed Amelia. Not great quality, but an awesome pic, eh? I realized that I hadn't posted about Felix's lumps (thanks for the reminder Michelle). If you look at the pics in the last post, you will notice lots of marks on his face. Most of those are left-over brown sharpie.

But last Saturday during his birthday party, Felix took a header over the arm of his grandpa's chair and he caught a vent on the way down (it's a wall vent that sticks out about an inch). Two giant goose eggs on his forehead, with the lower one close enough to give him a black eye. :(

I don't know if I've ever gotten across the living room faster.

He learned a new word this week - scab. Not like he can pronounce it, but he tries. Of course, he picked it off already, but it's all healing nicely and the black eye just looks like a little green eye shadow in the corner of his eye now.

No more progress has been made on Felix's room. When we removed the baseboards we found that there are about 4 feet of wall under the window where the sheet rock is ruined. Moldy and crumbled. Sigh. I've got a piece of sheet rock to fix it, and hopefully I'll get that done today. Then the last step before I can finally paint is to fix the ceiling. We had water damage in the ceiling and although it's been fixed, there is a section where there is now no texturing. I have a plan of attack, but I'm kind of worried that that particular section will never match. gah!

So much to be done!

A post of pics

2009-02-24T22:20:00.006-07:00

Most of these are from the last week. Felix turned 2 on Saturday. Yes, Amelia does have male pattern baldness. She has hair on top, just not a lot. But what she does have is a beautiful read - at least in natural light it's red.

The smirk

2009-02-23T15:49:00.005-07:00

You'd think the grin means that she's a happy baby. She's not really. Well, she's got some serious colic here and there and it's been extremely tough. Nobody wants to deal with a screaming baby for 6 hours straight. It's so mentally tough to be so helpless. Terrible!

She is cooing and smiling as a response. That, and when she cuddles up into your chest to sleep, makes the crying worth it.

On Saturday we had a birthday party for Felix and for his grandma. We were going to try to get some work done on the bedroom, but nobody showed up till the goodies were out. Felix loved the balloons, the building blocks (like giant legos), the bubbles, the Cookie Monster puppet, and the car. A pretty good haul, to be sure.

Just before we were ready to get out the cakes, Felix took a header off his grandpa's chair and caught a vent cover with his forehead on the way down. He's got two goose eggs on his forehead now, with scrapes in the middle. From the side he looks like a young Klingon.

As is his pattern, he cried really hard and zonked out very soon afterward, but that was fine because he needed a nap anyway. We've figured out that if he skips his nap, we can get him down about 8 pm and keep him down till 8 am. Otherwise, there's no guarantee. I sure hope Amelia keeps up her own trend and sleeps a lot more regularly.

Since Felix likes cords and wandered off with the cord I need to download pictures from my camera, I have no way of getting his birthday pictures off my camera at the moment. Thankfully, my brother and his wife have the same camera so I can occasionally borrow their cord. Time to make a trip to Provo... (I'll put the pics up as soon as I get them off)

Interesting thing

2009-02-20T18:19:00.002-07:00

When I had that last blog post up and went to another tab in my browser, it was a truncated version of the title. It said, "I blame my fat..."

I do that sometimes. Blame my fat. It's not very pleasant, to be honest, but I blame a lot on it. I have for years. At least I realize it, right?

Sorry to be so random. I thought it was interesting.

I blame my father...

2009-02-20T18:03:00.003-07:00

He's the one who showed Felix how to draw on his finger. Silly grandpa!

Photographic evidence

2009-02-18T14:02:00.003-07:00

See, we really are making progress. The next step is to sand the walls of Felix's room so I can then prime and paint (I want to get that all done before Saturday because we're then hoping to put in the flooring). We also need to do some rearranging in the kitchen so we can finish the wall behind the fridge. I'm going to hold off on the ceiling and other two walls till some time in the future. I'm just not going to worry about it for now. Same with the mural I have planned for Felix's room. I just want the base paint for now. The guy at the paint store said I don't really need to texture the walls. I can sand them down and then use matte paint (instead of glossy) and with a mural it'll be fine.

2009-02-14T09:54:00.000-07:00

and this time I'm serious!

2009-02-11T13:09:00.004-07:00

I bought an exercise bike from a Filipino guy who's getting deported. The group work visa extension was denied so stuff is being unloaded for good prices. This was my find. Mom helped me put it together last night and I have the blood blister on my finger to show for it. But dang it, I just HAVE to lose this weight.

I'm sick of shopping in the fat lady section.
I'm sick of specialty shops for under-goodies.
I'm sick of asking for an extension for the seat belt in the airplane and hoping that a skinny person is sitting next to me so my fat won't touch theirs.
I want to have an easy pregnancy. Easier, at the very least.
I want to have the energy to play with my kids.
I want to be able to order dessert and not worry about getting knowing looks (to me and behind my back). Because you know if a fat person likes dessert then that's automatically what made them that way.

Sigh.

Felix is making progress on the potty training. He likes to sit on the potty chair, but he hasn't figured out how to make himself go - hasn't made the connection yet. He sits and even tries to push something out. It's really funny. The best part is how he sits. There's a little pee shield that folds down and to get over it, he puts his bum way up in the air and backs onto the seat, looking between his legs for guidance.

I'm sure that one day this will be good blackmail fodder...

sickness

2009-02-11T00:45:00.002-07:00

The yeast is out. The bacteria is in. I got strep. Sheesh!

Now, since I'm prone to yeast and don't have insurance (thus, don't want to pay for another doctor's visit), I'm self-medicating. Don't worry, it's all very safe.

Let me tell you though, gargling with 5 parts water to 1 part vinegar is both disgusting and effective. Don't forget the copious amounts of ibuprofen. I know you can't tell from the picture, but Felix got a fat lip today. He was climbing on the cart at Wal-Mart. Bled a bit and he kept licking it. I didn't notice till after he was asleep here that there were two teeth marks - top and bottom. Poor kid could have bit a chunk out.

Amelia has been quite fussy lately. I'm sure she's got yeast in her system, but hopefully the grapefruit seed extract (tastes like all the natural sweetness of the grapefruit has been removed - it's terrible!!!!) in my system will pass to her at least a little bit and kill the yeast. Oh, we're also giving her acidopholus and Gas-X to ease stomach cramps. Fun!

We're some kind of druggie family. Thank the Good Lord for modern medicine!!!!!!!!!!!

She finally passed out in the swing. Tonight wasn't so bad. She only fussed for about 3 hours, but she didn't cry solid the whole time. There have been a few times she has done that recently. Sorry about the blur. I wasn't about to stop the swing to take the picture. We'll let it run out (timer) and sleep there till she wakes up in a few hours ready to be a ravenous beast again.

Oh, many thanks to Michelle for the little swing. She loves the lights. And Felix is in love with the music.

Quote from the great President Hinckley

2009-02-09T10:00:00.002-07:00

¨Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he's been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, and most children grow up to be just people. Successful marriages require a high degree of mutual tolerance. Most jobs are more dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey - delays, sidetracks, smoke, dirt, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for just letting you have the ride."

It's good to remind myself that normal is okay, even while I strive for excellence. I can be excellent in non-traditional ways, right?

Stuff

2009-02-03T16:29:00.003-07:00

Felix pooped and peed in his potty chair on Sunday morning. First time for both. Hasn't done it since. There is hope though!

I have a yeast infection in one of my milk ducts. Feels like I'm being stabbed when Amelia nurses. Aches for hours afterward. Doctor appt tomorrow to get some good drugs.

Felix was sick last night, so we watched Chuck and Heroes with the subtitles because the poor kid was inconsolable for about 3 1/2 hours. He's a total doll today. Can't even tell he was sick at all.

Brent submitted a design to threadless.com. It's a similar premise to the t-shirt contest at woot, but the prize is higher - it would help a LOT right now, what with owing on taxes and all. Check it out, and please vote.

I'm drowning in laundry, but my kitchen is intact. On Saturday my brother and his whole family came over to help us put everything back into the kitchen. The cool part is that the cabinets are in. The uncool part is that now there's a whole lot of organization that needs to happen in there. I'll put up pictures when it's done. We also got the living room back to its natural state. That's a very happy thing.

Sunday we blessed Amelia. She cried during the blessing but only during the blessing. The rest of the time she was just placid. Brent's brother told him that she just knew she had a microphone. Little performer! We had people over after. It was a very pleasant day.

A new endeavor and some work

2009-01-28T23:01:00.002-07:00

I started a garage sale. On-line.

That's sort of it. It's more like an exchange of stuff. I call it The Family Garage. Check it out and feel free to participate. I'd love to keep it busy over there.

I found out yesterday that people were moving around at work so I emailed my team leader to ask if he had seen something I thought I had left. He said, "if you've got anything still here you better come get it today."

Sounds ominous, eh?

I went in and found that my stuff had already been moved, but at least they didn't just toss it out. Instead, it had been moved to the other side of the building. Apparently I now work for Dan. The interesting part about working for Dan is that he's the person who originally hired me when I started at my company over 12 years ago. Kind of a weird full circle.

Anyway, when I had taken Amelia in to the office to show her off, I had gotten the impression that there would be very little (if any) work for me anytime in the near future. And then when I got the email from Jared I figured they were just going to clear me out completely. Really scary in this economy.

I looked everywhere I could think of for my CDs (seriously, I'm devastated that I can't find them - they're all my picture CDs - all my Alaska pictures, everything), but nothing.

There was a bright spot: Dan asked me to come in today. Turns out that Jared was planning to fire me (let me go, anyway) but Dan had stepped in and said he would take me. Because I put in the time years ago, I have a job today. I'll even go in for a few hours tomorrow. I don't know how many hours I'll get here and there, but I should get some. And the fact that the long-term higher ups are vying for me (Jared is brand new to this part of the company) makes me feel really good.

Apparently putting in the time at a job you can barely stand for a wage that would disgust most pays off in the long haul. :)

Travel Contest at CheapOair

2009-01-26T08:29:00.003-07:00

My friend Erin is running a contest for her company in which she will randomly pick from her favorite interesting entry essays to give away a $500 travel voucher.

So go to this site and enter by end of day on Feb 1. Winners announced the next day.

But just know that if you win I might expect you to take me with you... :)

More words and a Mystery Solved

2009-01-25T08:31:00.007-07:00

The Felix Dictionary
ba-deen = bandaid
ba-pa = grandpa
ba-ma = grandma
gock = sock
guck = stuck
tew = shoe
pewn = spoon
pome = phone
pean = swing
pew-pew = computer

These are just a few of our favorites. It really is fun to see Felix get the hang of language. He does still need a translator for many things, but we did finally figure out one word that was getting the better of us. That's Brent's great accomplishment for the week.

Felix will often pair words with "we-we" and we had no idea what it meant. He will say "we-we bot-toh" (bottle) and "we-we bat-tuum" (vacuum). He says it all the time, in fact. Brent made the connection that "we-we" is actually "Felix". He's referring to himself or something that is his. When I told my parents about that discover this morning, my dad said he had just barely figured it out too.

This week was actually notable for a few other things:

* Brent painted and put the doors on the upper cabinets in the kitchen so I'll get to start putting food away this week. I'll finally have a living room again (and of course a kitchen)!

* I went to work and was told that there won't be anything for me to do for the foreseeable future (they made a bunch of layoffs in December) and I might want to look for a job. We would do fine with just Brent's income except for taxes. Taxes for the self-employed are killer.

* I got a ginormous cold - first of the season (which is quite miraculous, I think, because usually by the end of January I've had at least 2 terrible colds and am on my third) and my sinuses are itchy. Felix and Amelia also have colds but mine is the worst.

* I started getting a bedroom ready for Felix and Amelia. It is now stripped of wallpaper. This week I will tear out the crusty moldy carpet and the baseboards, fix up the walls (spackle and sanding and such) and paint them, and seal the cement. Then (probably the week or two after that), I will put in laminate flooring and have Brent start on a really cool Spiderman mural. I'm excited. :)

Things are good. Progress is made. Life marches on.

Felix has discovered...

2009-01-23T22:38:00.000-07:00

...scissors and how they affect his diaper.

2009-01-23T10:54:00.000-07:00

An Open Letter to Tom Hanks from a Mormon

2009-01-21T13:22:00.005-07:00

Dear Mr. Hanks,

I have been a fan of yours for years. Several of your films are among my very favorites. I truly believe that you will be remembered long after your time as one of the greats of cinema history. It is because of the enormous respect I have for you that I address this to you and not to one of your many colleagues who similarly seem to think that your status as a celebrity, even a very talented one, grants you unique wisdom or understanding in the realms of politics and social conflicts.

I refer specifically to your recent comments regarding California's Proposition 8 and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (of which I am a member). Let me be clear that you are entitled to your opinion, but your statements demonstrate some enormous misunderstanding and ignorance about not only mormons, but the very issues at the heart of Prop 8.

Firstly I take issue with your characterization of the support for Prop 8 as "un-american." I find it ironic that you would even use this term, since the mere idea of being labeled such by supporters of the War on Terror had a number of your colleagues incensed to the point of nearly frothing at the mouth in their indignation. There is nothing more american than people making their will known through an organized vote. It is, in fact, one of the chief founding principles of this great nation.

But, you say, this is wrong because it is "discrimination codified on [a] piece of paper." I submit that nearly all of our laws are just that...discrimination. We discriminate against the murderer, the thief, the rapist, and the abuser. We discriminate against those who drive faster than the speed limit and those who do not wear a seatbelt. We discriminate against minors. We discriminate against those with physical or mental handicaps. Discrimination, the act of giving preference to one thing over another, is a given. The only question is whether or not that discrimination is justified. It is only right, for instance, that a person without the ability to see clearly not be allowed to drive a car.

Now, let's make a few things clear. First, most of us who are against same sex marriage are not trying to tell people how to live their lives. No one is trying to make gay sex illegal. No one is telling gays that they can't live together. What's more, gays can get married in any state in the union today. There are plenty of churches, even in Utah, that are willing to perform the ceremony. They can buy rings, wear white dresses, make whatever vows they wish to make, and if they so choose, they can live together and have all the sex they want. No human right is denied them. This is not about being able to love whomever they choose or live however they want. It's about validation. They want society to condone their lifestyle, not tolerate it.

So the question becomes, is society justified in giving preference to heterosexual relationships over homosexual ones? In answer to that let me ask this: Is society justified in giving preference to a relationship between two adult people over one between a man and a prepubescent girl? The answer should be obvious.

The issue is a definition of marriage and it's purposes. If marriage is nothing more than a vehicle by which two people express love for one another and a commitment to faithful companionship, then there would be no reason to bar anyone from marrying whomever they chose. But marriage is about family, as cogently and eloquently proclaimed by the leadership of the LDS church. Part of this is the undeniable fact that biologically two people of the same gender cannot reproduce, but the more important fact is this: marriage is the best way to raise up healthy, happy, responsible members of society. Marriage is not just husband and wife, it's also son and daughter. The family unit is the fundamental building block of society. As such it is in society's interest to encourage it.

And that's really the discrimination we're talking about here. It's not an issue of a law telling people that they can't live as they choose. The law says only that this kind of relationship will be encouraged through official recognition because it is of fundamental benefit to society and all other relationships will not because they are not.

Your colleague Sean Penn said that mormons and blacks should be ashamed of their support for Proposition 8. It is he who should be ashamed. You might ask yourself what these groups have in common. Blacks and mormons in particular have been subjected to real, sustained, deadly persecution in this nation. We all know what blacks have been through, but you may not be familiar with the history of persecution of mormons. Long years of people driven from their homes, men and women being tortured and killed, defamation, wrongful prosecution, and all manner of horrors, culminating in the 1838 "Extermination Order" issued by Missouri governor Lilburn Boggs declaring that mormons "must be exterminated or driven from the state." Effectively it was "codified on a piece of paper" that it was open season on mormons and they could be killed at will.

The point is, Mr. Hanks, that to frame the issue of same sex marriage as a civil rights struggle is deeply insulting to groups who have experienced real persecution. No human rights are being denied gays today. Society simply does not want to condone or encourage their lifestyle.

I don't really hope to change your mind, Mr. Hanks. I still deeply respect you and you are still entitled to your own opinion. It is my hope, however, that you might consider that I'm entitled to mine as well, that there might be a rational, reasonable cause to oppose same sex marriage. Even more, I hope that in the future you might dig a little deeper before making stupid, ignorant remarks about beliefs that you obviously do not understand.

Sincerely,
Brent

Generosity

2009-01-15T17:26:00.006-07:00

2008 was a tough year. I'm sure most of you understand that having a baby and dealing with economic crisis at the same time, all the while trying to make do on self-employment, can be rough. I'm sure a lot of my frustration has to do with fluctuating hormones, but there's also a toddler who's almost 2, a house that needs serious repairs, health crises, and an amazing lack of sleep.

Amazing to me is that you all really do seem to understand. Or at least sympathize.

Seriously though. I have the most generous friends and family known to man. I mean, it's not like anyone I know has boat loads of money they can throw around, but the people I know are incredibly generous with what they do have.
Some examples:

* It was awesome to be able to drop kids off with my sis-in-law yesterday so Brent could get lots of work done while I went to visit my adorable cousin's baby (you get to decide whether "adorable" applies to the cousin or the baby - I think it works for both).

* The non-boss that fired Brent 2 1/2 years ago and then decided he was needed... the one who now contracts work out to Brent... sent us a Christmas card. That card contained a gift card for $500 at Wal-Mart. Guilt money? Gift horse, for sure!

* A brother-in-law donated his time (and will for gas money donate a bunch more) to install our kitchen cabinets.

* The website owner where Brent spends a great deal of time moderating sent him a check for $500 as a "bonus." Considering it's a volunteer position, that's a fortuitous windfall.

* A great friend donated a toddler bed and a travel swing for our new baby.

* My parents regularly let Felix run free, allowing Brent and I to have some time "alone" (I put it in quotes because with an infant it's only sort of alone, right?).
Truth is that I can't detail all the ways that people have been wonderful with us. The time that people have donated to us, even by just understanding the difficulties of having a new baby, it all means so much. As overwhelmed as I am by the frustrations of motherhood and life in general, I am just as overwhelmed by the amazing people I am blessed to have in my life.

I love each and every single one of you. Thanks for your support and understanding. And thanks especially for your tolerance. It really is appreciated. If there's anything I can do for you, please, please, please... let me return the many many favors.

As Felix would say, "tay tew!"

According to Felix (and some other stuff)

2009-01-09T11:59:00.006-07:00

Felix is a smart little kid. He's finally starting to string words together in semi-sentences and we're understanding him almost as much as he's understanding us. It's been lots of fun to see all this progress.

As I mentioned in the last post, his favorite thing in the whole world is his batuum. He carries it around with him everywhere. Because it's just a little bit heavier and more awkward than a small child can handle, he asks us to carry it upstairs for him: "up wi da batuum!"

His second favorite thing ever is baths. I blame this on his grandpa. I don't know if it's because my dad doesn't like to wipe him completely when he has a stinky diaper, but almost every single time Felix is stinky, his grandpa will give him a bath. If we give him a bath downstairs, we use a kiddie bath and just set it in the shower so he can splash. He loves it, and we don't have to freak out about any tiny spills.

Felix has figured out the stinky/bath connection, of course, so now (according to Felix anyway) there is a direct correlation between a messy diaper and a bath: "peuuu... ba?!" He also loves giving kisses and shaking his head back and forth vigorously as he says "no" over and over. Pretty typical toddler stuff. And his favorite people (other than "mom" and "daddy", of course) are "uke" (Luke) and "Becca" - probably because he can say their names (cousins).

He is saying more and more - like "wa-uh" (water) and "taw-uh" (towel) and lots of body parts. His favorite body part is the "but-tee", which is a hybrid of belly and button.

Felix is a great little kid. He makes us laugh regularly and loves to hear us sing for him (usually when we're trying to get him to sleep): "more!" This is all very good, because he's still pretty darn high maintenance. He demands lots of attention, is a master at creating chaos and deconstructing anything even related to "clean" and still sleeps way less than we would like. We can't get him to bed before about 10:30 unless we want him up at 4 or 5, but on special occasions he skips his afternoon nap and will crash by about 9:30. If we try to get him down earlier he will scream so hard he makes himself throw up. (Amelia and her much larger cousin Ammon, who is just a month older)

Our house is still in depressing disarray. I won't lie and say that I'm not completely overwhelmed and frustrated by the mess. I can't stand it. But I can't fix it because I don't have place to put everything and because I'm so exhausted that I often can barely move. Sigh.

One bright ray of light is Brent, who is finally painting cabinets today. Once they're painted and dry we can get all our kitchen stuff out of the living room and maybe start getting that room back in order.

Oh, the leak in the kitchen came back. Thank goodness for mom and dad's shop vac, or we'd be swimming in that corner of the house and all the lower cabinets would be totally ruined.

Ups and downs, and they're not hormonal. I just want a week off to catch up on sleep.

Due Date

2009-01-02T17:13:00.004-07:00

I figured now was a good time to take down the widget seeing as how today is Amelia's due date. That means she's now 5 1/2 weeks old.

She's being a very typical infant - keeping me up all night, taking all my time during the day. Thank goodness she will occasionally sleep for long periods of time (up to 6 hours even) so I can accomplish some things and get some rest.

Felix is being all sorts of goofy lately. I finally cut his hair again so he no longer looks like baby Einstein. He now looks like a very cute little boy. No more baby for him. I can't believe he's almost 2 already. I guess the time really does fly!

We didn't do much for Christmas this year. We did finally buy ourselves a bed frame a couple weeks ago so we called that our present to each other. Officially, I gave Brent a t-shirt and a bag of chips. My mom gave me a diaper genie. But the best present ever was the tiny vacuum we bought for Felix. It wasn't actually on Christmas, but close enough.

See, I had seen a toy vacuum in a catalog a while back and thought that would be fun since Felix is obsessed with our vacuum. The toy vacuum even worked for real! But when I saw the little bright blue Eureka at Wal-Mart I had to buy it. It's essentially a hand vac with a telescoping handle and a floor attachment. Less than $20 even.

The best part is how much Felix loves that thing. He wakes up in the morning thinking about it ("mommy, battuum!"). He even moans about it as he's falling asleep. So freaking cute. I need to get it on film before it loses its grand appeal. But really I want him to love that thing for a very long time because I don't especially like vacuuming myself. I'd be thrilled if my kids loved all the housekeeping tasks I hated... Wouldn't you?