Thursday, February 11, 2010

Stolen from Miss Cellania thru my friend Lis, who also understands

Toddler Diet

Day One

* Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
* Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
* Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi.
* Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor.

Day Two

* Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
* Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor).One ice cube, if desired.
* Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug.
* Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon.

Day Three

* Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair.
* Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up
* Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.

Final Day

* Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
* Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
* Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert.

Start over with day one.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Long week

This has been kind of a tough week. On Monday morning I finally made it to water aerobics. I decided I could run home after to change my shirt (it wasn't quite as clean as I thought it was) and pick up my water bottle, but on the way I got in an accident.

Very happily, it wasn't my fault. I did feel sorry for the teenager who hit me because she was taking her little brother and sister to school and just didn't look both ways before pulling out of the cul-de-sac and into the side of my car. There wasn't nearly as much damage as there could have been - as there would have been if I'd been driving a smaller car. As it was, the impact tore a hole in my front passenger tire, ripped my bumper and fender, and displaced a couple of things. A very nice man living nearby changed that tire for me so I didn't need to get towed. Especially nice since it was very cold (30-ish?) and I had no idea how to release the spare.

I got everything taken care of with insurance (her insurance admitted fault/blame immediately) and took my car to the shop on Tuesday. I got a rental through insurance. They were going to upgrade me to an SUV, but they started me out with a 2009 Chrysler Town & Country (fancy schmancy minivan). I called later to ask about the final estimate and they said it was just under $3000 and it should be done end of next week. Happily - nice rental for the meantime.

In sadder news, my back and neck have been pretty sore. I went to see a doc yesterday and besides cracking my back (which felt great for at least a little while) he recommended physical therapy. I've been needing a heating pad so I can sit for any length of time. I haven't taken much of the pain killer that I got though. I hate extra drowsy, especially since I'm already not sleeping well.

Anyway, Felix's eye looks great. Amelia is finally starting to walk (with some coaxing). Felix is finally getting excited about potty training (I think he's just happy to wear underwear) and has even talked about sleeping in his own bed (woo hoo!!!!!).

Brent and I have been seriously sleep-deprived for a while now so that's been tough, but the kids continually surprise and entertain us. Life is tough, but very good.