update

I don't know what it is about blogging lately, but I've had no desire to do it or read it. I'm sorry I'm behind on everyone's blogs, and I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while.

I've been fighting with a migraine for the past couple of weeks now, and although I can function every day, it's a struggle every day. There have certainly been good times in the middle when I can forget about the pain/nausea/discomfort, but maybe there's a bit of depression in there too that makes those difficult and not as often as I'd like.

It has become somewhat of a tradition to play on mommy and daddy's big bed every morning. Brent has been an absolute life-saver in getting up with Amelia, so once Felix and I wake up they come back and play with us. One morning I woke up to Felix crawling around the bed, calling out: "Miiiiiiiaaaaaa.... Miiiiiiiaaaaaa... Mimipaaaaannnnts... Baaaaabycaaaaakes..."

I love the joy on their faces as they discover each other in the mornings.

About a week ago I contacted a debt management company to consolidate all my bills. Brent didn't want to participate (understandably) because he was wary of their business ethics and the effects on credit and such. Turns out that every bit of bad debt that we have is in my name only. I do still have a couple of long-closed credit accounts that we have paid on for 7+ years, but two years ago I had an emergency appendectomy that turned out to be unnecessary. I had no insurance*, so $15,000 of medical bills later, and we're struggling.

The debt management company I found online turned out to be awesome. Kind and respectful and helpful and incredibly knowledgeable. And rated A+ by the Better Business Bureau. I was happy to finally have this under control... till Saturday, when I got a call from one of the medical collection agencies. The lady assigned to my account is an absolute jerk (and I'm not just saying that because she's trying to get money from me - her phone manners are terrible) and she informed me that they don't work with debt management companies. Period. And if I don't want them to take me to court, I have to pay them an additional $300 per month - additional to the money I'm going to pay to the debt management company.

Talk about ruining the day! Happily for me, I have a little brother who is somewhat of an expert on bankruptcy law, so I wrote him an email asking for information. The email I got back was full of all the information that I needed. Now, I just need to find a lawyer who can file for me.

I don't think this will solve all my problems or anything. And I still hate the idea of bankruptcy. But unless I get a full-time job, I will never be able to stay on top of these bills. And having a full-time job would pose all sorts of other problems with Brent's own work. It's just not possible right now (besides the fact that it would be nearly impossible to find a job in the first place).

Anyway, I do feel somewhat better now that I've made the decision. Some of the stress that has been plaguing me has lifted.

Now I can concentrate on finishing off this stupid migraine, my new cool calling (primary chorister), losing more weight (50 pounds down!), and keeping up with my two little tornadoes.

Amelia is still not walking and still has no teeth. She has been on the verge of walking for weeks now so it's getting exciting to see her inch closer every day. She and Felix take some sort of perverse pleasure in dragging things from one end of the house to the other, so I'm constantly finding things in the wrong place and missing things that I know I've put away. They also are both totally obsessed with their grandma's plants. I actually remember liking dirt when I was a kid, so I can't totally be mad about it, but pulling them away and putting back the barriers gets old after a while. As does all the sweeping. Maybe that's why I'm not ready for plants.

I can't think of anything else that would be interesting enough to share, so I guess this post is done. :)