Brent and I got married three years ago. It surprises me sometimes just how naturally we kind of fell into being a couple. As much as I had struggled in my dating life - 16 years - half of my life when I finally met Brent, we didn't even have a hiccup. In November of 2005 we had never heard of each other. And in March of 2006 we just, well, were. It's not like we've had things easy. We started out in our 30's, both with a great deal of debt, and both overweight. We had baggage from our pasts, but neither of us flinched to take it on. We had been perfectly prepared for each other and for each other's crap.
I know, it sounds terribly romantic. We do actually like each other, but we're also uniquely suited to deal with each other.
On the way, we've dealt with a lot of hardship. It's really not that interesting. We've had sickness and financial woes. Lots of sickness and financial woes. We're still living with family.
But on the other side of things, we've dealt with a lot of good too. Because we've lived with family, we've been able to make serious headway on our debt. We have two beautiful children that are pretty healthy. Brent works at home, which allows me quite a bit of freedom with the kids. My job survived the cutbacks, but only barely. But because of the progress we've made, we no longer need my income.
Here's what I've learned:
Marriage is tough. It really does require the constant commitment and repentance and lots of introspection. It requires sacrifice and ear plugs. It often smells bad and is very messy. But it gives good stuff in return. The sense of peace and comfort and understanding is powerful. The companionship alone balances out almost all of the bad.
And personally, I've learned that Brent really is a wonderful father. I've learned that although our communication styles are vastly different, we can grow as people by compromise. We can still make each other laugh. We're still very much on the same page in all aspects of life. We've figured out how to support each other in our various pursuits and interests. We don't need to agree on everything, but we do need to back each other up. And we make really cute babies. See?!