Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Three Years

Brent and I got married three years ago. It surprises me sometimes just how naturally we kind of fell into being a couple. As much as I had struggled in my dating life - 16 years - half of my life when I finally met Brent, we didn't even have a hiccup. In November of 2005 we had never heard of each other. And in March of 2006 we just, well, were. It's not like we've had things easy. We started out in our 30's, both with a great deal of debt, and both overweight. We had baggage from our pasts, but neither of us flinched to take it on. We had been perfectly prepared for each other and for each other's crap.

I know, it sounds terribly romantic. We do actually like each other, but we're also uniquely suited to deal with each other.

On the way, we've dealt with a lot of hardship. It's really not that interesting. We've had sickness and financial woes. Lots of sickness and financial woes. We're still living with family.

But on the other side of things, we've dealt with a lot of good too. Because we've lived with family, we've been able to make serious headway on our debt. We have two beautiful children that are pretty healthy. Brent works at home, which allows me quite a bit of freedom with the kids. My job survived the cutbacks, but only barely. But because of the progress we've made, we no longer need my income.

Here's what I've learned:
Marriage is tough. It really does require the constant commitment and repentance and lots of introspection. It requires sacrifice and ear plugs. It often smells bad and is very messy. But it gives good stuff in return. The sense of peace and comfort and understanding is powerful. The companionship alone balances out almost all of the bad.

And personally, I've learned that Brent really is a wonderful father. I've learned that although our communication styles are vastly different, we can grow as people by compromise. We can still make each other laugh. We're still very much on the same page in all aspects of life. We've figured out how to support each other in our various pursuits and interests. We don't need to agree on everything, but we do need to back each other up. And we make really cute babies. See?!

8 comments:

nora.lakehurst said...

WOW!!! Go you and your bad selves. ;) Marriage is hard and it is always going to be a ride and unexpected curves ahead. You should post wedding pics.

Lina Hardman said...

Happy Anniversary! ...some good observations.
-Lina and Than

Shell said...

Good for you guys. Congratulations to both of you. And you do make darling babies. Obviously the stamp of approval.

Kristin said...

I knew Tim was the one because there were no glitches. . at least not inside our relationship, and we got through the external opposition together. Congrats to you both! 3 years and two kids is awesome!

CarrieAnne said...

Overachiever! ;-P

Anonymous said...

Happy Anniversary?

Sorry I haven't commented lately -- my dad put Linux on our home computer (if you don't know, ask Brent) and I'm still trying to make it usable.

Love you all!

-- Eepii

Denys said...

Congrats! You guys are a great couple, I've observed over the past year and a half - heavens, has it been THAT long? that I've had glimpes of your family. I'm glad to have met you all and hope we can keep in touch. Thanks for the introspective words on married life. yes, yes, and yes, I agree. :)

BeatlesDiva said...

You two are such a cute couple, one of the best matches I've ever known. Congratulations on your three year anniversary. I honestly can't believe it's been that long. I still have your wedding announcement, just because I think it's one of the most original ones I've seen.

Here's to many, many more years together!