Man, this has been a tough winter.I figured we were done for a little while when I saw the new tooth, but we're far from it. Dang it.
Yesterday morning Felix and I went up the canyon to have a bike ride with a bunch of his cousins and a couple aunts. We started at Vivien Park and went all the way to Utah Lake. Well, Felix didn't quite make it that far. He screamed most of the way (he despises being strapped in, even in his nifty new bike seat) and after about an hour and a half I called Brent to come pick him up. The rest of the ride was enjoyable, but my bum is seriously sore (15 or so miles after not riding for a year) and I got so sunburned on my face that I look like some kind of strange alien. I still had fun, and I have pictures, but they're still on my camera at home.
I figured the screaming would stop because he was no longer strapped in, but with few exceptions he did not until this evening when he finally fell into a comfortable sleep. Brent and I have been miserable, mostly because we feel so helpless.
This afternoon I took Felix to the doctor, who became very concerned by his symptoms - most especially with the level of oxygen in his blood. After an albuterol treatment and oxygen, the number still wasn't going up, so the doctor decided Felix needed to be in the hospital. In fact, the doctor said I should go straight there. I cried the whole way.
It's bad enough that I already feel financially ruined (owing $3500 in taxes will do that to a person, especially on top of $9500 in medical bills from previous hospital stays), and it's not enough that I feel completely helpless to comfort my baby. Now I have to hold him down while he screams, tears streaming down his face, while they shove things in his face, poke him and tape him (i.e. strapping down), shove more things in his face, hook him up to 8 different wires/tubes.
I honestly believe that if the young women of the world knew what being a mother was really all about - all the heartache, all the exhaustion, all the disappointment, frustration, feelings of insanely huge inadequacies - there would be virtually no teen pregnancy left.
7 comments:
I'm so sorry for you and your little guy. Love you.
Oh, no! Heather, I'm so sorry. It is to horrible to see your baby strapped, poked, and prodded. Poor little fella. Poor parents!
We'll keep your family in our prayers.
Poor Baby! I'm sorry you are having such a rough time! I've always thought it's unfair that they make the mother restrain the children as they poke and prod them. Keep us posted.
Oh Heather,
I am so sorry. What exactly is wrong with Felix if you don't mind asking? As hard as it is on Felix, I am sorry, it is so much harder on you. He won't remember any of this but you will have to. I hope all goes well. Keep us up to date and let us know how we can help even if it is another emergency girl's night out so you you can vent or cry on someones shoulder. I have read some journal entries of medical things my Mom had to witness because of me and it was so much worse on her than me so remember that.
I've added another entry to update, but essentially it was a really bad asthma attack. The doctor was most concerned because even with a steroid treatment and oxygen in the office his oxygen levels were too low. He is doing much better now.
Thanks to all of you. K - I will need a girls night soon. :)
Holy cow! Poor baby, and poor mom and dad! It truly is worse to be the mom and get to remember it. Let us know what we can do.
wow heather! i'm so sorry! it is SO hard to see your baby strapped down being poked and prodded. you are a good mama.
maybe he's got allergies? our F gets asthma in april/may, so we really have to be careful with him during that season. asthma can be so scary.
xoxo hang in there sweetie!
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