Being "tagged"

I hate emails or games that require someone to participate before they even know about it. And since I'm relatively naive about the whole blogging thing and have only sort of heard of the whole tagging thing, I don't know much about the game even though I've been tagged. Good thing I like the tagger! ;)

Anyway, I like the "questions" so I'll answer. I don't know much about how it works, so I'm not going to try to tag anyone else though...


Five things I Was Doing Ten Years Ago
1. working a job I both hated and loved
2. trying to figure out how to get guys to like me
3. attending BYU full time while working
4. chasing after boys
5. gaining weight

Five things on my Life To Do List
1. get married sometime soon
2. travel some more
3. pick a major
4. make lots of money
5. have lots of kids

Five things I'd do if I was a Millionaire
1. pay off my parents' house and then buy it from them
2. pay off all of my debts (and Brent's debts too)
3. hire a mother's helper (yeah, I know, I only have one kid)
4. buy a houseboat and put it in a harbor in Alaska
5. vacation (long one) in Italy

Five Things I'd Never Do Again
1. abuse my body with long-term sleep deprivation
2. go into debt for stupid things
3. be offended because of someone's ignorance
4. put off financial management
5. compromise myself because of desperation

Five Favorite Toys
1. computer
2. digital camera
3. Kinder toys!
4. toys that entertain my infant
5. Mr Potato Head

Five Things I've Read Recently
1. blogs
2. Peter and the Starcatchers
3. Pickle Chiffon Pie
4. lots of other kids books
5. internet news stories

Five of My Favorite Smells
1. mom's homemade bread right out of the oven
2. cinnamon
3. rain
4. forest
5. freshly bathed husband and baby

A big to do about very little

As I get older, I spend less and less time thinking about Christmas.

Truth is that as a new mom and still relatively newly wed person, I find that there are just a lot of other things to think about. Because we're coming up on the end of the year, I will re-cap.

January 30 - Put on bed rest and started working from home to finish a couple of big projects. It worked out so nicely I asked work if we could do "home" work permanently. They graciously agreed, but I think they were just desperate.

February 21 - Felix Stephen Webster arrived all sorts of unexpectedly. With lots of nervousness about breathing issues, he stayed in the hospital for 9 days and then went home on oxygen. We discovered quickly that he was much more uncomfortable with it off than on. Doc said it was okay to leave him off.
(Felix at the library in December)
March 25 - 1-year anniversary. Marriage still feels surreal and sometimes I have to remind myself that I really am married. I mean, I spent 32 years single, and now this! Brent continues to astound and impress me in many ways.

April something - my little sister finally married her long-time sweetheart. Both families gave huge sighs of relief.

Um, summer happened. I can't remember much. I know there were family things. Brent and I were entertained greatly by the growth and development of our offspring.
October - I got strep. Then Felix got it. Never mind that it's extremely unusual for infants to get it. He also got a super duper nasty yeast diaper rash that took forever to heal.

November - I got a kidney infection and cysts on my ovaries that disguised themselves as possible appendicitis. The day they removed my healthy appendix, Brent took Felix to the doctor because he had croup and could hardly breathe. That was a miserable couple of weeks. Thank goodness for steroids that open breathing passages or Brent and I might never have slept again!
(new play place for Felix this winter)

Also in November - fun times with family for Thanksgiving. I started working more from home. We started realizing the scope of the medical bills.

December - I think I started my important Christmas shopping the Thursday before Christmas. Oh, our internet went down for about 3 weeks and as a result I started going back to the office to work. I actually kind of like it but it does put a strain on Brent. We finally switched internet providers and got wireless internet (which, for some reason, doesn't function on my work computer so I still have to go to the office to work).

more December - Brent begins to get very suspicious of his health. He recognizes that he is always thirsty and always has to go to the bathroom. He has inexplicably lost 10 or 15 pounds recently. One Sunday he borrows my dad's blood sugar tester. 375 isn't a good number. We're worried and a little scared, and still trying to figure out how to get insurance. Brent is in the process of trying to apply for the company where my brother Jared recently started. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

December 24 - I finally do some wrapping. We try to go see a movie and see someone selling puppies in the parking lot. Movie was sold out, and after deliberating for too long, the puppy we liked best was sold out too. But they had a different puppy we could look at if we wanted. We did. We liked it. We purchased it. I wouldn't say that I actually regret it, but it really is just as annoying to train a puppy as I remembered. I'm finding my socks all over the house and everything that's even near the floor is fair game for chewing. Plus, he's not house trained. Gah! I hate picking up puppy poo!

December 25 - We go over to my sister's because I love being around lots of little kids on Christmas morning. Felix throws up on me before we leave, as we arrive, and then all day long. We figured it wasn't a big deal because he does occasionally throw up (very different from spit-up, as any parent could attest). But we left after just an hour or two because Felix was totally listless and cuddly. If you know Felix, you will know that he's not cuddly. He loves being held, but he wants to be active at the same time. Not that day. He slept for most of the day and kept down the pedialyte for a maximum of about half an hour (the couple of sips he would take) but most of the time for only about 10 minutes. Brent and I changed clothes a lot.

later on Dec 25 - I left the boys (Brent, Felix, and DustBunny aka Dusty) at home to rest and went back to Anne's for a family shindig. By then everyone had already been exposed and I still didn't think it was necessarily contagious.

December 26 - my granola sis-in-law says she can smell rota virus and that's probably what Felix has. Not a good thing because she and my bro are staying in the same house as us and have lots of contact, it's extremely contagious, and their youngest has serious health issues that could mean hospitalization with rota virus. Felix starts the day off with diarrhea and, well, he still has it. But then I get sick too. Mostly it's just sick to my stomach and the runs. Karin assures me that it's rare for adults to get rota. We still make it to the Hyatt extended family Christmas party. I really hope they don't all get sick too. The clubhouse where we had the party had a pool... (Abish, Andy, Zeke, Hannah, Rachel)

December 28 - impromptu get-together at my sister's again. It was really nice to see some long-distance family and talk to them. Two cousins had invaluable advice on the diabetes front because they are both young and have been diagnosed in the past couple of years. Brent and I decided to catch a movie, so we went to National Treasure. Kind of hokey but fun. We picked up some toasted subs from Arby's beforehand (in my opinion, they are the best fast food sandwiches around at the moment) and left Felix with Anne and Denny. Felix apparently terrorized them all night with his mad diarrhea and vomiting skills. When we left he was in a pretty good mood, but turns out that after a short nap (that should have been going to bed for good), he screamed for an hour, till my sister buckled him in his car seat and locked him in her bedroom, shortly after which he fell right asleep. Poor kid. Poor Anne.

Today - Felix is still going through many changes of clothes per day. He's still throwing up, and his diarrhea shows no sign of stopping. Karin said it's normal for it to last a week. We're giving Felix gatorade a couple of times a day. He doesn't really like it though, but we don't want him to get dehydrated.

Brent gave me a camera for Christmas (I gave him rootbeer), so I finally have some good pictures to put up.

Oh, two more things. My awesome friend CarrieAnne invited me to sew/craft with her sister and another friend and we've done it twice now. I'm in love with all of them. Soooooooooo cool to have good new friends that are so interesting and entertaining! And... I made myself some sock/slippers yesterday. They are knee high and are fitted to my feet and calves. My ankles are always cold, but no longer! I might have to try to market them somehow because they are awesomeness!

I'm back

Sort of. Our internet is still out of whack, but that should finally be resolved on Friday. Sheesh. It's been three weeks and I feel like the world has gone on and I've stayed in one place.

I've started going in to work because I can't do any at home without internet. It's actually nice to go in because I'm a lot more productive without a baby poking my bum and crying because he wants to be picked up.

Thankfully, even without internet, I've been able to entertain myself. Friends have helped. I've discovered an afinity for sewing. (wait, does afinity mean that I like it or that I'm good at it? I really mean that I like it. I'm getting better at it but it'll take a while before I'm good)

Brent tested his blood sugar on Sunday and it was super high. He's convinced he has diabetes so we're trying to figure out how we can get insurance. Plus, his bosses told him they'll have a lot less work for him starting in January so he may want to find something else. We're thinking of having me go back to work full time so we can have income and insurance. blah. I hate stuff like this.

We've been putting Felix to bed in his crib every night and he's starting to sleep through the night. It's sooooo nice! Of course, before falling asleep he has to cry so hard he throws up, so the floor surrounding the crib is, well, kind of gross. I'm thinking I need to put a washable rug in front of the crib. One night after working late I checked on him and found him in this lovely position. He slept that way for about 7 hours. I can't imagine it was very comfortable, but he didn't seem especially unhappy with it.

Internet issues, Billy Joel, Donny Osmond, and snow!

The items are not related, except that they all "happened" this last week. On Tuesday we stopped getting internet access at home and Brent and I have felt cut off from the world ever since. While we've gotten lots of other things accomplished (like lots of new levels in Final Fantasy 12 for Brent, and lots of sleeping for me), it has actually been a nice little break.

Our internet is still down, but since we felt completely isolated, we are at this moment borrowing my sister's wireless connections so we can catch up with everything. I apologize to those of you who have missed me during our absense. :)

On Thursday night Brent and I dropped Felix off with my sister (who went to work and left Felix with her generous and wonderful husband Denny) and went to Salt Lake. We met up with our friends Ian and Amy, went to dinner at Squatters (super yummy food, by the way), and then went to the Billy Joel concert. It. Was. Amazing.

Billy Joel played for 2 1/2 hours straight, no opener. He did take one quick break. He introduced it by saying that he was going to let one of his rodies sing a religious song. He recommended we think of its important message and words during our drive home. This big fat guy in a crew t-shirt and shorts got up (he also introduced the guy by the name "Chainsaw") and sang "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC. The guy actually did a really good job. It was funny to see all the old people look mildly annoyed or perplexed and all the young people singing along.

There was a wide variety of people there at the concert. All ages and types. Awesome music. It reminded me of just how talented Billy Joel is. He even poked fun of himself and his recent problems with car accidents by saying thanks to people for buying the nosebleed seats, since he needed the money now that he has outrageous car insurance.

Yesterday Brent and I went to Costco and while we were there Donny Osmond came in. Brent said hi (after I pointed him out) and Donny said hi back and patted him on the shoulder. He's kind of a small man. With a larger head. But he looks great!

This morning we woke up early to head up to Logan for a baptism, but the weather was not with us. It snowed over night and was still snowing. In fact, it's still snowing. Although we left with enough time to make it in good weather, the roads were super messy and terrifying, and we made it to south Salt Lake valley before deciding it was better to come home.

So here we are, catching up on emails and blogs. Reconnecting to the world. It's been an interesting week...

Thanksgiving and Shopping

Thanksgiving was, of course, perfect. We went up to Logan to visit a brother and his family on Wednesday night because the kids (the pic is of Zeke) invited us to sleep over. We needed a place to stay anyway because on Thursday morning we had breakfast with Brent's family in Brigham City and we didn't want to drive up there that morning. It was pleasant (the sleep-over and the breakfast).

After the breakfast we drove back down south and stopped for a little bit to see my cousin in the hospital. Last Saturday, as she was traveling back from Italy with her husband, her stomach started hurting. Soon after that, her appendix burst but seeing as how urgent care didn't see her appendix on the ultrasound, they sent her home. She finally went to the ER on Tuesday night and had surgery on Wednesday. She's doing much better now, but she didn't get much of a Thanksgiving.

After visiting her for a bit, we came the rest of the way home for our dinner, and as we exited the freeway we heard a honk. Turning aorund, I saw another cousin and his family right behind us. We were all late, but it turned out fine. And yummy.

That night we had Pie Fest at my brother's house. We invited some friends to tag along and their kids had fun playing with bunches of kids. We all played Rummikub (one of my new favorite games) for a long time and generally enjoyed ourselves. After the pie fest, our friends followed us back to our house. See, we had decided we were going to go to Old Navy in the middle of the night because they were giving out mp3 players to the first 50 people in the store the next morning. We (me, Jason, and Char) got there at 4. They handed out wrist bands to the first 50 people at 4:45 (maybe 3 people after us in line got them) and opened the doors at 5. I had counted earlier to make sure we would make it, but in my counting I had failed to recognize our friend Erin near the beginning of the line. I saw her later in the store.

We all spent lots of money, saved lots of money, and generally had fun. After Old Navy, we headed to Shopko because we heard they had games for $1.99. We got there before 6, but the cheap games were already gone and the lines were insane, so we left. We headed just down the street to Target, but the parking lot was full. And I'm talking FULL! I've never seen a parking lot so packed. So we decided to go to Wal-Mart instead. We wandered around there for a while and found some great deals. I even found a sewing machine for $54 that I decided to grab for my sister (she's always borrowing either mine or my mom's).

By the time we left Wal-Mart it was about 7:45 and we were exhausted. We stopped at Macey's and I couldn't even go in for fear I wouldn't be able to walk. I got to sleep about 8:30 or so and slept until around noon. I wasn't very productive for the rest of the day because I was so tired, but we had friends over last night to watch The Wizard of Oz. Jason and Char's kids hadn't ever seen it, but they did like it.

Brent was falling asleep and Felix was fussy about 3/4 through the movie, so I sent them to bed. hehe I think everyone left about 10:30. I cleaned up a bit and fell into bed about midnight. To say I fell into bed is a little bit misleading though. I thought a lot about how I needed good sleep, and looking at Brent and Felix asleep in our bed, I was hesitant to let Felix interrupt my sleep. I was sooooooo tired, I couldn't stand the thought of waking up all night and getting inefficient sleep again. So I slept on the spare bed in Felix's room. It was blissful. I finally woke up about an hour ago because my nephew (the one who had invited me over) called to tell me it was his birthday. He's 8 today. Cute little kid. I really do adore my nieces and nephews.

Two things (of many) to be thankful for...

My baby, who loves everything I feed him. Does this remind you at all of Winnie the Pooh and the honey pot?


And other people who are creative enough to make me giggle:


Happy day everyone!

My other favorite Christopher Walken

I have no idea why, but I love this video. It's Weapon of Choice by Fatboy Slim. The song isn't that well-known, except for Christopher Walken. There are weird references to Dune in it (Brent had to point them out). The video still makes me laugh though.

Christopher Walken

I used to think he was uber creepy, but now he just cracks me up. I think the change came when he stopped taking himself seriously. So now you all can enjoy him too.

Christmas songs

I'm caving in. I actually really dislike Christmas music because it proves how commercialized our society has become. Makes me mad.

Anyway, my friend Erin linked to this song that I heard last Christmas. I laughed so hard I almost wet my pants. Seriously. You have to enjoy this link:

http://media.zug.com/OhHolyNight.mp3

My all-time favorite Christmas song is Got Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen by Barenaked Ladies. Makes me want to dance. I tried to find a video on YouTube of it, but the two I found were both horrible copies. You'll just have to take my word for it. Well. you can listen to it if you want (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZL4Ic8VcSM) but it's not a great copy. And don't watch it because I think the video was taken on someone's phone and it doesn't match the sound. But you get the idea of the song and its wonderful beat.

So, I'm going to avoid the radio for the next couple of weeks. I'm usually willing to listen to Christmas music for a week or two before Christmas. But these two songs are good any time of year.

Enjoy!

Oh yeah, and happy Thanksgiving!

Now the week is over...

This is Felix, learning the ins and outs of Mario Brothers.

I ended up taking Felix in to the doctor again. His regular pediatrician was out so he saw the next available doc. This doc is a little guy but very attentive. He recommended a steroid shot to ease the swelling of his airways, and he even called a few hours later to follow up. I was so impressed. Felix only has a regular cold now - no more wheezing.

I have figured out in the past couple of weeks that when Felix is really tired he wants his dad (yes, he really did fall asleep like that, right after he had slobbered biter biscuit goo all over Brent's shoulder). He gets frustrated with me but will snuggle into Brent's shoulder. But when Felix is awake and wants to play, he looks for me. Most of the time this is because Brent puts him down to play by himself on the floor, but I pick him up and play with him. Of course Brent plays with him sometimes, but when he has work to do, well, he just has to put him down.

This morning Felix got us up and I tried getting a little bit more sleep. In my haze of sleep, I could hear the crying getting slowly louder. I finally lifted my head to see Felix slowly crawling down the hall (with Brent supervising) to come find me. I told Brent I wanted to get a little more sleep so he took Felix back into the office. But not too long after that, Felix crawled out the door and back down the hallway to come find me. Really, how cute is that?!

Felix asleep, swaddled in his swing with a biter biscuit in his mouth.

Rainy days and Tuesdays...

Actually, I'm pretty sure it's been nice weather out lately. I just have barely left the house in a while.

Felix continues to struggle with croup but at least he's finally showing signs of getting better. We decided to let him take a nap at 9 tonight and he slept for an hour. That means he'll probably be up till 2, but he was so miserable we couldn't help it.

I'm feeling much less sore in the belly and I am feeling like I can eat mostly normally. Smaller portions, but that's not a bad thing at all. I caught a few minutes of Biggest Loser tonight and I thought again that I could totally win that under the right circumstances.

This morning I woke up and started sneezing. That's a really bad sign for me because it always heralds a bad cold. I sneezed for about 20 minutes straight and have been coughing ever since. My throat is all sorts of scratchy. :( I guess it's at least a really good thing this didn't come last week, because coughing this hard with holes in my belly would be absolute torture.

Felix, while recovering, is still coughing quite a bit. I think we're going to try to take him in to the doc tomorrow. He's been coughing so hard that he throws up everything in his stomach and there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to alleviate that. It's really hard watching an infant suffer, especially when he's normally so dang cheerful! He still smiles a lot and plays, but now he struggles for every breath. Or at least it sounds that way. And when he eats, well, he sucks it down desperately and then ends up choking on it.

I have a couple of fun things coming up, and if I have to, I'll get a mask to wear. I'm sick of being stuck in the house. I need social interraction! That's really how I make it through the winter. That and my favorite TV shows. heh

Brent and I seem to get hooked on a new show about once a year. When we first got together it was Lost. Last year it was Heroes. This year it's Chuck. We're still obsessed with all three. I can't wait till Lost comes back on in January. I think it's because I like zoning out on other people's drama. Not too much drama. Not contrived. I can't stand things like Desperate Housewives or daytime soaps. They bore the snot out of me. Maybe it's the fantasy, I don't know. In fact, it probably is that.

Tonight I watched Bones (predictable but fun), House (also predictable but fun), and SVU (way too predictable and depressing). I think I prefer TV that I couldn't write and that take me to an alternate reality. I watch TV because I don't want the real world. Don't give me any of that news crap. Or the hardened cop dramas. Or the lawyer shows (although Boston Legal can be very funny at times). I'd rather escape into something totally unbelievable. Like flying. Or a nerd actually being a secret spy (I have to say, however, that Chuck as a nerd is kind of a stretch). Or a mysterious island that won't let go of its inhabitants.

Call it a weekly vacation. That reminds me of Fantasy Island. Anybody out there remember that show? I don't think I was in love with Mr. Rourke, but I was in love with the concept of going to a place and living out an experience that you couldn't have in any kind of reality. Maybe I'll just stick with the fantasies. It's a lot less expensive than traveling and easier to discuss. Oh yeah, tomorrow is another new show that we're in love with - Pushing Daisies. Another fantasy.

If you haven't watched any of them, I'll put in a plug. Lost is going to start season 4 in January so if you haven't watched it before you may want to just borrow the DVDs. It can get addicting. I believe you can still watch last season at abc.com.

Heroes is in season 2 right now. I think you can watch all episodes at nbc.com, but if you need access to season 1, we've got them.




Chuck is season 1 and way fun. nbc.com for all episodes.



Pushing Daisies is also season 1 and way fun. Totally surreal, very entertaining. abc.com for all episodes.

In summary, sickness is bad, but TV that can take your mind off it is good.

Outside help

Everything is back to normal, right? Well, not quite. Felix is still struggling with croup (big bad nasty wheezy cough), and my belly still feels like I got trampled. Since Brent took most of the week off to deal with me and Felix, he has lots and lots of work to do, and it's due early Monday morning.

Problem is that I still can't take Felix for a lot because the poor kid tries to crawl all over my belly. I can't pick him up or put him down, but I can hold him (as long as he's not trying to get on my belly). So we asked some nieces to help us out this weekend. Lauren is brilliant with him. She loves holding him and playing with him and I actually trust her, so even though she's only 10, I feel comfortable leaving him with her. Becca is coming a little bit later today to help out and if Lauren is still here we'll have Becca help us clean up. Brent has been a working machine - trying to catch up for the essentially 4 days that he missed. My parents were kind enough to take Felix last night so we could get some uninterrupted sleep, so I actually woke up at a normal time today.

Often I would be just waking up about now.

I still haven't really eaten since Tuesday, but it's for two reasons. First, I get horrible heartburn if I eat anything that has serious flavor. Second, everything else sounds completely unappetizing. I am getting lots of liquids at least and little tiny portions of food (before my body says "enough!"). Heck, maybe this is the impetus I've needed for a long time to change my eating habits and actually lose some weight...

The moral of the story is, family rocks. Thank goodness for all the physical support they've been able to give us during this difficult process. It's been so necessary and appreciated!

Sicko, part 47

I went in to the hospital with Brent on Tuesday evening thinking they would poke around a little more, tell me it was just infection and send me home with more antibiotics, but somewhere around 2 in the morning the doc decided my appendix was even more suspicious and it should probably come out. I had had 3 CT scans by now and they still couldn't find my appendix, but the general area where my appendix should have been was inflamed and kind of bad looking.

So I got transferred to UVRMC down in Provo. Brent took me (they offered an ambulance, but since this non-insurance bill is already going to kill us we opted out), got me settled and went home to sleep since he was exhausted. I sort of slept in a haze of pain and morphine, but the morphine wasn't making it much better. The nurses kept promising the doctor was on his way to come and see me, but by 4:45 I was in serious pain again. 5:30 am and I was writhing and on more morphine.

I zoned out (if I concentrate really hard and don't move I can ignore most pain for a short period of time or at least tolerate it) till 6 when they started taking me down to the OR. The doc finally came and talked to me for about a minute there before I went under.

I felt fine when I came out of anesthesia (that anesthesiologist was awesome!) and didn't even feel the effects of the breathing tube they'd had down my throat (I get claustrophobic even thinking about it).

The doc came and saw me again for about a minute. Apparently my appendix was healthy, but I had 2 ovarian cysts. The one on the right had ruptured (reminds me of that Simpson's episode where the appendix is taken out and thrown away where it explodes just out of reach and everyone cheers), which was probably the cause of most of my pain. The doc cleaned it up and removed the one on the other side too. They don't usually operate for cysts since they don't cause any harm besides pain, but since he was there...

He did mention that it's rare for a CT scan to miss ovarian cysts. My innards must be really confusing if they missed my ovaries and my appendix with three separate CT scans - two with contrast (those are painful, by the way).

I was back in my room by 8 am and feeling so much better I was amazed. The doc stopped by about 2:30 and said I could go home when I felt ready (I left about 5:45). He gave me a prescription for 4 days of antibiotics and some more percacet. Anybody need drugs? I feel like a freakin' pharmacy!

My belly is sore but in a totally acceptable way. It's amazing how much we use those muscles to move around. Felix woke me up about an hour ago (I went to bed at 9) - I have no idea when Brent brought him in to our room. He has croup and is miserably congested and wheezy. He climbed on my face and fell back asleep. Cute for him but not so fun for me.

In summary, it's been a sucky fall. It's going to be expensive but I finally see the light (I just hope it's not another train!).

No, I'm the sicko!

So after spending 5+ hours in the ER last night, the doctors decided to treat me as if I have a kidney infection. They couldn't rule out appendicitis because they couldn't find it on the CT scans. I'm going back today to get checked again and get more antibiotics (the IV is still in my hand). Sigh. Being sick sucks.

This round of colds

I think this is Felix's first official cold. He woke up at 5 this morning so congested he couldn't breathe through his nose. And since that's how he sleeps, well, he didn't go back to sleep till just a few minutes ago. Thankfully, there are such things as all-night pharmacies.

Last night when we went to my sister's house for FHE my youngest nephew was all snotty. It surprises me that Felix would get it so quickly after being there, but I just hope it doesn't get more serious than some congestion. Apparently you can still get children's cough syrup stuff but now you have to sign for it.

I'm not used to be conscious this early in the morning. As we drove back from the pharmacy (Felix and I), I actually saw the sunrise. Well, since it's behind the mountains, I didn't see the sun, but in the 20 minutes of our trip, it went from mostly dark to mostly light, and the clouds were all pinkish at the bottoms. It was really pretty.

Before we went to my sister's house my stomach was hurting pretty badly but I figured it was probably stress (yesterday was a beast for work) and that I hadn't eaten anything for a while. But after eating it was just getting worse. By the time we got home and I had about an hour left of work, I was in serious pain and I was freezing, so I asked Brent to cuddle with me to warm me up. I think that's what husbands are really for... to loan their cold wives their knee pits and heat them up. I was shivering and really hurting so Brent got me a bunch of pain killers and a rice warmer. He got that thing really hot and I put it under my back at the side, right where I hurt the most. I'm pretty sure the uber heat disguised my pain inside so I was able to get to sleep.

I'm not in severe pain this morning but my stomach still isn't really happy. I both feel sorry for Brent and envy him. I envy him his health, but I feel sorry for him that he has to deal with two sickos all the time. It doesn't seem to let up!

Halloween, part 3?

I finally sent my pic of Felix from my phone to my computer, so here he is with his cousin Genivieve. They make two cute tigers, eh?

I want my camera fixed, dang it. Nothing comes out clear on my phone camera. :(

one more thing

When you've been an IBM-type computer user for the past 12+ years, it's a ginormous pain in the butt to get used to a Mac. I really do like having an essentially-new computer at my disposal (it's been, well, forever, since my personal computer was anything other than a piece of junk), but the learning curve on this thing isn't fun. I feel dumb and I hate that feeling. :(

Other than that, it's awesome! hehe

Feeling sorry for myself

For the last couple of days I haven't had access to the general internet and I've felt cut off from the world. As if it shouldn't be going on with me not there.

Today I'm back. I initially felt a little sorry for myself because it seemed that nobody cared or even noticed that I was gone. I hate feeling invisible.

Then I went to church, talked to some people, thought a lot, and came to some conclusions.

* It's self-destructive to feel sorry for myself. I just end up wallowing and not being good company.
* My friends really do like me. But everyone has their own life to deal with.
* People don't miss me because I'm not around all that much anyway so how would they notice an absence of like 3 days?
* It was kinda nice to take a break.

Today I talked to a lady at church. She's one of those seeming super women who has 6 very young kids who always look perfectly put together at church (the mom and the kids). She's married to one of the best-looking men I've seen in a long time. She is way nicer than she would seem (she's preppy and preppy never seems nice at first glance, does it?). She was wearing a knee-length skirt and some really cute shoes (red pumps with a chunky heal). What I noticed most of all is that she has the best calves I have ever seen on a woman. Hands-down winner. Seriously. I was doing some coveting at church today so I decided I should at least compliment her. So I told her she had beautiful legs. Amazingly, she struggles with her legs most as far as self-esteem goes. I was flabbergasted. If I had those calves I would never wear flat shoes and I would never wear anything past my knees. I'm not even joking.

This week I got together with some old friends of mine. We hadn't all been together in at least 8 years and it was awesome to sit and talk for a while. One of the girls said she loved my family because one night when she called at like 2 in the morning my mom was cheerful and so was I. I don't have any memory of that incident.

Anyway, it all comes down to this. I'm sick of complaining all the time. I'm tired of finding fault with everything because it just makes me feel bad. I love the little tiny kindnesses that we are able to share when we're in just a normal good mood (not that we would ever remember them - we shouldn't even, just that it makes me feel better that I am generically good when I don't think about it too hard), and I appreciate the millions of tiny kindnesses that come my way every single day.

Yeah, people are nice to me all the time. And I remember it. I don't think any of the people would really think they were big things, but they all meant something to me. I'm done. I'm done being a downer. I'm ready to just start being me.

Oh yeah, this last week Felix started to crawl. Our friend Kaydee almost accurately predicted he would do it this week, but she picked Tuesday. It was more like Thursday. But he is doing it. Awkwardly, but there's starting to be a purpose to his swagger. The bath in the picture was my niece Rachel's idea. We got the tub at Ikea for a few bucks because Felix really likes to splash around but we don't have a bathtub in our apartment. He got everything wet and thoroughly enjoyed himself.

The end.

*muttering under breath* stupid computer

Last night as I was dinking around on my computer I hit the "next blog" tab at the top of the page, just curious about other blogs. Well, I happened to get a really bad one. DON'T HIT THAT BUTTON!!!!!!

My computer has crashed big time, full of some kind of virus or spyware or parasite, and until it's cleared off, it's just a pile of crap taking up space on my desk. So, you'll have to wait for more past-halloween pictures, because I can't get them off.

Happily, Brent's old Mac Book is just sitting around so I'm on that right now. It's not all peaches and cream, however, because the hard drive is failing. Gah! Okay, so tomorrow with Brent's latest paycheck, we're going to purchase a new hard drive and all the software needed to get the Mac working and it's going to be mine permanently. Then on Saturday we're going to spend some quality time with a very generous friend of mine. She volunteered her husband, who is a Dell laptop support guy, to fix my computer. He's already done it once. I'll have to think of something really nice to do for them because this is a big deal. If we can get all my pictures and personal files off, then I'll call it a wash.

Sheesh. Computers are stinky sometimes, but I really really really hate people who create viruses just to mess with people. I'd love to unleash the full fury of Chuck Norris or Jackie Chan on their butts for being so dang inconsiderate.

Anyway, I hope to upload pictures soon. Really. I got some cute ones of Felix tonight covered in cereal. I don't know why it's so cute for babies to be so messy. But it is!

another old Halloween costume

I actually found a bunch of old costume pictures, so I thought it would be fun to post them. One a day... or something like that. :)

I'm sure you can tell which one was me. This was a group from work about 8 years ago.

Halloween already?!

Disclaimer - this was me for a halloween party while I was a missionary in Italy. It was in 1995, when I was very thin (for me) and had really long hair. Can you tell I was being Pippi Longstocking? Italians don't know anything about Halloween, so it was a trip walking to the church for our party. Everyone stared at the girl with her hair sticking straight out! Good times...

Can anyone tell me where the past couple months have gone? I feel like I've been in a haze for a good long time, most likely because I'm seriously sleep deprived. I know that other women do it and it amazes me how many mothers there are out there who don't go insane with the lack of sleep that comes with motherhood.

Yesterday a good friend of ours hosted a halloween party. So true to form, on Friday I went and bought the supplies for our costumes. Actually, it was really just about Brent's costume because I got all sorts of lazy (and I was TIRED!!!) and decided to do something simple for mine. I found a really cute tiger costume for Felix a couple weeks ago, so we decided to be a lion, tiger, and bear. I was trying to figure out what would be easiest for me and Brent, and I spent some quality time at Wal-Mart.

While I was wandering around Wal-Mart, I found some fun slippers, and since Brent and I are due for new slippers, I thought that might be a fun way to enhance our costumes. They had lion slippers (you put your foot into the mouth), and big black fuzzy slippers with claws that I thought would make good bear feet.

Well, the slippers didn't work out (sizes), but I found some cheap gold flannel that I figured would make a good lion costume. I also found some cheap gold yarn that I thought could make a good mane.

Saturday morning I woke up nice and late and started working on the costume. I figured I could dress in all black and make a tail and some ears and be a bear. I grabbed a pair of Brent's pj pants and used them as a rough pattern for lion pants. And I used an old t-shirt as a pattern for the top. The mane gave me no end to trouble, so I didn't finish it. It was quite unfinished and I still have work on it before it looks like a lion's mane. I hot glued some cut-out ears to a headband and safety-pinned a tail on my bum for my costume. But as suspected, Felix was the star of the show.

It's gratifying to have people like him because he totally thrives on attention. We got back late and even had to stop on the way to change Felix's diaper because he was in pain. His poor diaper rash is finally making progress, but he's still spitting up a lot. At church today he tagged both me and Brent. Small price to pay for having such a cute kidlet.

This evening we talked my parents into watching Felix so we could take a nap. I woke up about an hour later, gave him a bottle and he fell asleep. He woke up about 15 minutes ago after about 2 hours asleep and I'm guessing he'll be awake and fussy for the next 3 or 4 hours. Fun.

Anyway, I'm happy to report that things are progressing. I'll put up a picture of us when it really is halloween. Hopefully I'll have our costumes finished by then.

On the mend

Over the past couple of weeks I have decided a couple of things:

1. I adore having a husband that is willing to take care of the baby when I'm too tired.
2. Plastic dinnerware is lifesaving.
3. I miss fresh veggies when I'm sick.
4. I get sad when I can't comfort my baby.
5. I feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy inside when my baby sleeps on my husband's shoulder.
6. I am thankful almost every day for modern medicine that provides antibiotics and knowledge.
7. I love good pillows.
8. Showers feel awesome even when I don't feel like standing long enough to take one.
9. I like cheesy movies that I can recommend because there is nothing objectionable in them (Sydney White is really cute - a retelling of Snow White, it's Sydney White and the 7 Dorks).
10. Even though I don't enjoy texting, sometimes it's still easier to text when I don't feel like talking to someone.

I'm finally feeling mostly human again, but Felix is taking longer. Poor little bug. We haven't given him any acidopholus yet and I think he's having some stomach problems because of it. Little frustrations in the grand scheme of things, but I wish I were better equipped to comfort him and make him feel better. I hate seeing an infant suffer...

Strep 2

Today I broke down and took Felix to the after-hours clinic. I wondered if the nasty-looking diaper rash and the rash around his face might be connected somehow and causing him enough discomfort to make him especially fussy lately.

It was worse than I thought. The diaper rash is a yeast infection so I got a prescription for nystantin. The doc checked Felix and he has no temperature and no big snot (dead giveaway for strep in infants), but he did have sores at the back of his throat. She recommended some 1% cortisone cream for the rash around his face (said it was probably the change of weather and his slobber) and said the nurse would let me know if the strep test was positive. It was.

The doc came back and prescribed amoxocillan for the strep and said to get some acidopholus for the yeast because apparently antibiotics are like a yeast magnet.

While I was at the pharmacy I asked the pharmacist about my giant headache that won't go away and about my cough, and he recommended some good cough suppressant and alternating between ibuprofen and Tylenol for the headache.

Felix fell asleep in the car and is sleeping now. I'm hoping he'll sleep for a while since he's been too uncomfortable to sleep for any significant time today. And Brent will pick up some drugs for us tonight. Hopefully that means that by tomorrow both Felix and I will finally feel some relief...

Strep Week

Last Friday (of last week) I suddenly felt all sorts of dizzy and weak so I went to lay down. I immediately started shivering uncontrollably and spent the next few hours under a bunch of blankets trying to sleep through the cold. Going back and forth between hot and cold flashes, my throat started hurting, and by Sunday morning I was certain it was strep. On Monday I went to the doctor and had it confirmed and got some antibiotics. And I started coughing.

I've been coughing madly for almost a week now and it's awful. I don't think I'm contagious for anything, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Apparently stuff is going around. I spoke to my sister-in-law who told me that one of her kids had strep and three others were acting suspicious. And I haven't seen them in about a month.

Last night Brent and I felt like we had to get out of the house, so we dropped the kidlet off at my sister's house and ran to catch a movie. I doubt if anyone has heard of it, but we saw Sydney White on the recommendation of Orson Scott Card. It was a modern retelling of the Snow White story and it was really cute. Very entertaining and it's clean. There was a scene at the end that I thought was kind of forced, but otherwise I really liked it.

Felix seems to get really bored with bottles lately. We've tried giving him a faster-flow nipple but he just chokes on the milk that comes out too fast. But he gets all sorts of frustrated with the slow-flow nipples we have. We've decided we need to find some medium-flow nipples. So we have started giving him things to chew on. We're not very careful and occasionally he does get things caught in his throat. He does especially well with carrot sticks (although he often sticks them down his throat too far and makes himself gag) and these teether biscuits we found at Macy's.

Just for the heck of it I gave him a cinnamon bear the other day. He liked that a lot and didn't seem to mind the spiciness of it. He just gummed it till it was slimy and he had red goo all over his tray and all over his face. He'd put the red thing back in his mouth for a bit and gum it and then spit it out (probably because it was hot) and start over. I also gave him some crackers and a green mint chip. By the time he was done everything was covered with red goo. I guess it's a good thing he likes baths.

He continues to entertain. He is fussy here ane there, but we're always hoping that he'll calm down and get back to his normal happiness, because normally he is just really happy. He smiles at everyone who smiles at him, and he's cheerful most of the time. Especially when he's getting attention. Of course, I'm a little like that myself so I can't begrudge him that reaction to people. :)

Truth and Honesty in the Voucher Debate.

Tonight, KSL (channel 5) did a
piece on the truthfulness of the spate of ads for and against Utah's Referendum 1. They essentially looked at two ads for either side of the issue. With some caveats, the two that were pro-voucher (one with oreos, and one featuring Representative Rob Bishop) were factual, telling the truth as far as they went. One might take issue with what they did not say, but what they did say was true. Vouchers would increase funding per student in public schools.

On the other hand, the two that were anti-voucher were untrue on nearly every count. Everything that they said was either a distortion of the truth or completely untrue. That is, at least, according to this report by KSL's Eyewitness news.

If I didn't already know which way I'll be voting, this might have made up my mind for me.

I love my family

If you've known me or my family for a long time that's generally a big deal. My family settled about 16 years ago into life in Utah, and almost 12 years ago into their current house. By "my family" I mean my parents, although some of the kids settled in with them only to leave soon after to grown-up-hood.

As one cousin has dubbed us, we're the coolest family ever. I know she usually refers to her own flegling family in those terms, but it extends to us whether she likes it or not. :)

I come from a large Mormon family. One mom, one dad, 8 birth children and one adopted. Number 9 came into the family when she was already an adult so I often speak of her in separate terms, mostly just to note that the behavior of the 8 is the most identifiable because we grew up together.

Being a family that moved often, we all turned to each other for friendship. This has been a huge blessing in my life, and I'm sure my siblings would say the same. Not only are they my brothers and my sisters, but they are my friends.

I spoke in my "I love my friends" post about being able to make friends easily. That is true, but there is really more to it. See, I make friends easily, but it takes a lot of time and energy to make true friends. In all my life I can count my true friends on one hand. That doesn't mean I don't love the friends that aren't so deep, just that I don't know them well enough to be completely comfortable and 100% myself around them.

This is where the whole friend/family discussion comes in, because my family members are also true friends. Of course, I can't fit them all on one hand, but I don't have to. I have been blessed not only by super humongously amazing brothers and sisters, but also by amazing aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, and in-laws that I count myself incredibly lucky to even associate with.

The difference between friends and family is that with family they have to love you. But I would say my family (immediate and extended) does honestly love me and not just because they have to. I am not just lucky to have such an amazing family. I am downright blessed.

I love my friends

For some reason I find myself reverting back to teenager-hood with all sorts of insecurities and doubts that plague me. I don't know that there is a trigger for this mental behavior, but I do seem to go through it every couple of months.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. When I was a kid my family moved a lot. This forced me to choose one of two reactions - don't make friends because we'll be moving soon, or make all the friends you can as quickly as you can because we'll be moving soon. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I'm an extremely friendly person. Obviously, I chose the latter of the alternatives. I forced myself to become outgoing because I was lonely. And I do such a good job of making friends that it's hard to tell that I still have deep insecurities about it. Basically it boils down to this: I'm still afraid of rejection.

I love people. I find them fascinating and inspiring and all that other good stuff. And when I think of it too hard I start thinking how people couldn't possibly find me all that interesting. I think that I must be forcing a friendship on them. They already have friends. They don't need me.

Now, I know deep down that this is just silly. We all need each other. I know there really are people out there who love me through all my weirdness. But like any other female, I have to deal with hormones and a giant inferiority complex. So I have to convince myself that I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it! people like me.

For a long time I would force myself through the initial parts of a friendship, figuring that if we got past that part then people might just decide they like me and want to be my friend. And then I got scared and decided that if someone didn't seem to return the friendship then I had to back off because obviously they weren't interested.

So here is what I realize... I'm not the only one who fears this rejection. I'm not the only one who hopes that people will love me through all my weirdness. I'm not the only one who wants friends. I'm not the only one who is afraid to come on too strong.

I'm sorry if I still seem to back off and you do really want my friendship. Besides feeling massively tired most of the time (sleep exhaustion, mother is thy name!!!) and still trying to find a balance between working and the world's cutest baby, I'm still afraid that if you don't respond immediately then you don't want me to keep trying. Of course, being a new mother, I understand that sometimes other people are just tired and overwhelmed too. I just have a hard time seeing the difference sometimes. "Is she tired and overwhelmed, or has she decided she doesn't want to be my friend?" That's a question that I find myself silently asking constantly.

I love my friends. I love the people who have graced me with their friendship. I am awed by them continually for their hard work, their determination to survive and overcome, their willingness to let an outwardly friendly but secretly shy and scared hormonal girl come into their lives.

Thank you for letting me grow with you. Thank you for being patient with me. It is greatly appreciated.

some thoughts, some progress

My baby is beautiful. He is bright and attentive and very social. He has no kind of stranger anxiety, as long as the person holding him is paying attention to him and smiling at him.

Because he is such a wonderful baby, it is much easier to deal with all the exhaustion that comes with being a new parent. And man, is there exhaustion! I have a hard time thinking of how that will multiply with more children. Kudos to all those who have more children!

For about a month, Felix was sleeping about 6 hours at a time during the night. Brent and I were very happy about this because we weren't getting enough sleep.

You would think that with all this cuteness and holding his own bottle (which he has done for about 2 months now) and playing by himself with anything that makes noise (plastic bags beware!) that it would mean we are more able to get things done. But Brent and I find ourselves exhausted every single day. Even when he falls asleep he doesn't stay that way for long.

It doesn't help that there are two large projects at work that have me working late nights - for the past couple of nights it's been overnight, meaning I work till 5 or 6 in the morning and then crash. This is hard on Brent because I then need to sleep till at least noon to be able to function and I still don't have much energy.

Anyway, Felix doesn't sleep more than maybe 4 hours at a time anymore. We have decided that we're going to try to keep him up in the evening so he doesn't "nap" from 7 pm to 11 pm and then want to be awake for the next 2 hours. Hopefully that will help some.

The other day I went to my sister's house to babysit while she had a class about being a cardiac nurse (apparently it's boring to be a regular RN for very long). Since I was going on exactly 1 hour of sleep from the night before, I bribed Luke and Hannah (ages 2 and 5) with promised treats to keep Felix occupied so I could sleep. And they did it. I was so impressed. By the time Hannah needed to get ready for kindergarten I had acquired an additional 2 hours of sleep.

Felix did something amazing there that he hasn't done at home. Maybe it has something to do with the wide open space, but he went from being on his belly to sitting up. Twice. He was pretty unhappy when he face-planted after the second time, but I was so proud!

He still won't quite crawl. He scoots backwards like a champ, and he has started to wiggle forward on his belly if he really wants what's in front of him. I'm thinking it's a matter of days before he actually crawls.

Rachel wanted to play with Felix when she got home from school. I didn't notice that he was smiling till I was sending the picture from my phone. Most of the time when he sees something shiny pointing in his direction he just stares at it intently with his mouth open. But he really does smile a lot. It makes me happy to have a little creature smile at me so easily.

He still likes everything we give him. He loves ice water and prefers sweet foods, but he loves spicy too. If it's really bland (mushed peas) or unusual he will make a really disappointed face, but he'll still eat it. I think he's most interested with the novelty of it all. What a cute little learner!

General Conference

Man, I love this time of year.

I wanted to get this in during the weekend, but it didn't happen. I've been so tired since then and I started getting worried that I would forget everything. Of course, that basically happens during every general conference for me.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about a few things. I wouldn't say that I really learned anything new. Instead, I was reminded of really important things that I learned long ago. Here are some highlights...

1) Although we do not believe in the Nicene Creed, we emphatically declare that Mormons are Christian.
2) Simplicity is a very good thing, especially in religion.
3) I love old people with senses of humor. For an example, listen to any of President Gordon B. Hinckley's talks during this past weekend (go to www.lds.org and check out the general conference links).

Um. Dang. Sigh. I guess I'll have to go through it again. There were good uplifting stories, important messages, and inspiring actions (like during Elder Wirthlin's talk when Elder Nelson stood behind him to support him so he could finish).

I am, as always, proud to call myself a latter-day saint. Call me Mormon if you want, since that's how the world knows us best. Please understand that I have searched and prayed and learned and dug deep. Being Mormon was a very conscious decision for me, and I will never regret it. I love my faith. It sustains me and gives me hope. It helps me understand. And it helps me know how to forgive and love and progress.

With renewed resolve, I think I'm ready for another 6 months till the next conference. Cross your fingers for me!

phone trouble

About a year ago I used the insurance on my phone to replace my current/broken one, added Brent to my account, and upgraded my plan to have a family shared plan. This wasn't all done at the same time, but over a couple of months, my complaints with Verizon grew and I felt completely dissatisfied with the level of service that they gave me.

Fast forward to last week when I decided to give them one more shot and ask about some issues. I spent 36 minutes on the phone with one of the nicest customer service people I have ever spoken to. She was incredibly helpful, friendly, and sympathetic, and it made the experience totally positive.

Because of her advice and help, I decided to both change my plan (1-year contract requirement, but I get a special price because my current contract is almost over) and upgrade my phone (2-year contract requirement if I want any kind of a good price).

So Wednesday I called and talked to another very helpful and friendly CSR and asked the couple of final questions. Again - a completely positive experience.Although they can do phone orders, the rep from last week suggested I go online because I would get an online discount and not have to deal with a sales person.

So I went online and ordered a nice new phone. And because of the "new every 2" deal and the 2 year contract and the online discount, I got the phone for free.

I checked my email in the afternoon and there was a notification that it had already been shipped. It was here yesterday. Isn't it purty?

I called today and changed my plan and added texting. I figured if my friend wouldn't stop texting me then I might as well get a plan. But I found out that the text plan includes 250 picture messages and I'm elated! The new phone has a great camera and now I can stop worrying about my broken camera for a while. Yay! :)

Needless to say, I am a once-again-happy customer of Verizon.

Tuesdays

For the past couple of weeks I've gone over to my sister's house to watch her youngest kids while she goes to a class at the hospital. The class was cancelled today because they scheduled 4 of the students/nurses to work, and now I feel like I have the day off.

Random thoughts today:

* I hate it when people assume that cranky = honest. Recently I "watched" a conversation on LDSLinkup that took place between two people and I was almost ashamed for them. These 2 adults, both about 40 years old, picked at each other and insulted each other as if they were in high school. I don't know if it's sadder that one was a guy and the other a girl. I've seen lots of those "fights" between two guys, but I don't know if I've ever seen a guy go after a girl so intently. Or maybe the reason it bothered me was that this was a friends' thread and not a public one, meaning that both of these people are friends of someone else. Shouldn't people who associate with each other respect each other? Or is it just that they're both grown-ups and aren't acting like it? Maybe I give younger people more leeway because they're young and stupid or young and bitter. It was annoying, to say the least.

* My latest cold is now about 2 weeks old and doesn't show any signs of leaving. I hate summer colds!!!!

* Every morning when I wake up, my ankle screams at me when I stand on it for the first minute or two. I bet you didn't know that ankles could scream, did you? Really though, even though I understood that this was a serious injury, it's been over 4 weeks now and I'm still very often in pain. There's still lots of swelling, and I can only walk on it for about 20 minutes before being really really uncomfortable. I wish healing didn't take so long!

* Last night we went to see Surf's Up with my cousin Erin and my brother Dan's kids (Dan and Linda are out of town). The movie was pretty fun actually. I wouldn't even mind owning it.

* We went out to eat at Wingers after the movie. We put Felix in the high chair and it worked quite well. He didn't fuss at all. Of course, we did give him a celery stick to gum and then a chicken bone (after I made sure there was nothing left that could come off). He was so cute - sitting there wobbling back and forth, alternately a chicken bone and a celery stick in his mouth (he had one in each hand).

* the picture is from Sunday. (You'll probably notice that all of the recent pictures are kind of grainy. It's because they're from my phone. We still haven't gotten the camera fixed. ) My niece Lauren loves playing with Felix and she put him on the duck. He didn't seem to mind at all and he even stayed on for a while. He's getting really good at balance.

* Felix had a bad rash on Sunday morning. We gave him a baby dose of benedryl and it did get better. I'm not sure if it's a real allergy or just a sensitivity. We haven't been really careful with new foods and such because he seems to like them all. Well, he didn't like it when I put his celery stick in the spicy wing sauce last night, but usually he loves even spicy foods. Of course we are careful not to give him anything he could choke on, so it's just getting flavors and nothing even slightly chunky.

* I like being busy with work, but it is hard to get used to sometimes. Brent has deadlines every two weeks with his work, but my work has deadlines every single day. I guess that's the nature of market research.

* My friend Jess called me yesterday to say she needed a vacation and to see if I would be available in a couple weeks. I'm thinking San Diego...

Progress

Felix isn't quite crawling, but he is scooting all over the place. Backwards.

He's not quite ready for lots of baby food, but he studies us intently when we eat and he wants to try everything. He loves mushed carrots and sweet potatoes, but he's not so fond of peas.

He's not quite pushing himself up to a sitting position, but he tries and he will sit now unassisted without falling over too often.

He doesn't quite understand the wire plaything with the moveable beads, but he does sit and play with it anyway. Mostly he'll try to put the beads in his mouth.

He doesn't quite feed himself yet completely, but he will grab his bottle and steer it into his mouth and feed himself if we'll coach him. He's at the point of putting everything in his mouth to try out the texture, but if it's small enough he will choke on it. He doesn't seem to mind even then.

He doesn't quite communicate with us about anything, but this morning for the first time he very clearly made the sign for milk and smiled when I asked him if he wanted milk and made the sign to him. Yay! My 7-month-old baby is starting to communicate!!!

One Good Thing

I have discovered over the years that if one thing in my life is going exceptionally well, I then feel much more willing and able to deal with all the things that are going badly.

I don't want to get into a pity party or anything, but I'm having a hard time lately with a bunch of things that seem to be weighing me down.

In contrast, I got partially moved to a new team at work, which means that I have a relatively full plate at work. That also means that I can start counting on having a pretty good paycheck again.

Although it's hard to get used to going back to work (not really since I've been working the whole time, just much less), it's nice to know that I am both needed and greatly appreciated at work. Makes me feel all sorts of warm and fuzzy inside.

With that warmth and fuzziness, I again have the motivation to deal with medical issues, car crap, health disappointments, dirty house, etc. It also helps that I have a fantastic support base of friends and family to add to that warm and fuzzy feeling.

That's all I've got. Just a thanks to family, friends, and work, for the support and patience in a relatively frustrating time. It really means a lot to me.

Do Not Buy This Car...

It's a long story that just makes me sad, but suffice it to say that I will never ever recommend a VW to anyone. It's been a long week already. Sigh.

Making New Friends

A couple of days ago I had a discussion with my sister Anne about the fact that we had moved a lot as children. She felt that it had a very negative effect on her ability to make friends and kind of bemoaned the childhood lack of stability and her continued discomfort in talking to people.


Over the years I've thought a lot about my friend-making abilities. For me, moving was really helpful. I wanted to be social but I was terribly shy. In the end, my desire won over my comfort zone and I forced myself to go out and make friends.


After talking to Anne for a bit, however, I realized that my ability to make friends is really often limited to making pretty superficial friends. I'm absolutely fascinated by people and really truly want to be friends with everyone, but I find myself holding back because of fear of rejection. I will easily talk to people and even make a pretty quick connection with them, but making deep friends is still very difficult.


Growing up in multiple states, I now lay claim to friends all over the US. There are different levels of friendship that I enjoy with these people, but I've discovered that when I make an effort, more often than not, people are welcoming of that effort and I make new friends (or create better friendships from those already existing).


Yesterday, Brent and I went to a baby shower. Brent is best friends with Ian, who he bonded with in high school. Ian and his wife Amy have welcomed me into the little group, and they are just days away from welcoming their first child into their home.


So Brent went to the shower with me so he could play with Ian (they are both fans of video games) and so he could drive since I'm still on crutches. After a couple of hours of hanging out at this shower, knowing (and really only superficially) Amy, we ended up as a group of 3. Amy - the pregnant one, Janis - the hostess of the party, and me. And the 3 husbands were downstairs.


We talked pretty comfortably and decided after a while to go check out a sale at Lane Bryant. Turns out their clearance section was pretty well stocked and we each spent about $30 on 4 or 5 items. The funny part was this ragtag group of women. Me - the gimp, Amy - the pregnant one, and Janis - toting along her almost 2 year old daughter.


But we bonded. We ended up being there for about 8 hours yesterday (the boys just didn't want to call it a night). It was really circumstance that threw us together, but we enjoyed ourselves. We are nothing alike really, except that all three of us have husbands who really love comic books and video games. It was a lot of fun and I look forward to enjoying their company again.


So, here's to friends. To making friends. To deepening friendships that are superficial. To going out of our comfort zones and being enriched.


Good times.

Cuz I'm a gimp, ya ya ya!

Over the last couple of days as I've had to rely on Brent for the simplest of needs, I've come to realize just how amazing he is. It's not like it's really new information because I've understood from the beginning that he's a great person. But this really is the extra mile.

Not only does he basically take care of Felix probably 95% right now, but he makes all the food (including the dinner I promised to my visiting teachee who just had a baby), does laundry, and bring me everything I ask. And he does it all without any hint of a complaint.

So I'm pretty much out of commission what with the being on crutches and all, but Felix has had a hard week too. He started peeling a couple of days ago and we could tell that although his sunburn may not be painful anymore it's still uncomfortable. He's got a large sore on his left temple where the skin split somehow and a couple of scabs on his nose where I think he scratched the skin off too soon. Poor kid. But he is doing better.

Brent made some yummy stroganoff last night so we had that left-over for lunch today. Felix is starting to realize the connection between taste and putting things in mouths and he watches us closely when we eat. So we got out the peas. I know it's kind of cruel to be eating something so wonderful as this slightly spicy yumminess and then be sticking him with the blah-ness of mushed canned peas (which is exactly what it smells like). So I would take his little spoon and get a tiny bit of the sauce from my stroganoff and then get some peas. And he seemed to really like it.

I wonder if my love of spicy and extremely flavorful foods will be passed on to Felix...

So, apparently my camera didn't survive the weekend and I'll have to send it in to be repaired before I can take any new pictures. I'm really sad about that, but thankfully, I have lots of good friends and relatives with cameras. Until I can take more of my own, I'll be relying on their pictures.

Speaking of which, here's a pic of Felix that my new friend Kim took at that same picnic as our family pic. Enjoy!

Camping - part 2

It's never as simple as you think it's going to be, is it?

We got to Moab about 9:15 pm and set up camp. Felix didn't sleep very well and was quite fussy on Saturday morning so Brent went with the group to see a bunch of arches while I stayed with Felix. In the afternoon Brent and I traded places.

We took a guided tour of the Feiry Furnace (named for the view at sunset), but after about 30 minutes I realized that my ankles were not up for the challenge and I was not used to any kind of hiking (meaning I was gasping for breath every couple of minutes), so my friend Erin generously offered to hike back to the beginning with me.

Saturday evening we all went out to eat and then went home and went to bed.

Sunday we took our time getting up. Most of the group went in to town to shower and go to church. Brent and Felix and I stayed, watched a couple of conference talks on his laptop, went down to the river to cool off, and just hung out. When people got back from church we just relaxed the rest of the day. We realized that somewhere along the day poor Felix had gotten sunburned and as the day progressed it looked worse and worse.

This morning we were thinking of going to Delicate Arch, which is the most famous of the arches - the one that appears on the Utah license plate, but when it came down to it we decided to just come home. We finally left the campsite and all our new friends about 9 this morning.

We got to Erin's house about 1 and I took Felix in the house to cool off while Brent loaded our car. We said goodbye to Erin and as I was walking around the car to put Felix in, I stepped off the driveway onto the grass. Unfortunately, the grass there is deceptive and covers a hole. My ankle twisted all over the place as I fell and I dropped the carseat (only about 6 inches, thankfully).

I had to writhe around on the ground for a few minutes and just sob in pain before I could finally crawl to the car and get in. I cried all the way home, where my dad offered to drive me to the hospital. So I crawled to his car and he took me to the emergency room.

Turns out I actually chipped a bone in my ankle this time. It's by far the worst sprain I've ever had, and this was on an already weak ankle. I'm not happy, but as long as I'm not moving it's bearable.

I feel like a horrible mother - letting my infant burn because it's his first real sun exposure, and now I can't even do much with him because I can't move.

Brent is such a fantastic husband and father. Seriously, it's times of injury that it's the most obvious, but he's awesome.

Here are some pics from the trip. You can tell that Felix's face has started to swell...