Sunday, March 30, 2008

The surprise has been revealed

Early this week I decided that I wanted to clean the house as a surprise for Brent. I had long ago gotten the phone number for his best friend by going through his phone's contact list, so I called Ian, who was a willing participant.

I told Brent I was going to play with the girls on Saturday, and when Ian called to invite Brent to play with him, Brent thought that was a great idea.

As soon as I dropped Brent off at Ian's house, I went to my sister's house to drop off Felix. In exchange, I grabbed Andy to help me do some of the cleaning. I don't know how good of an idea that was, except that for some reason having company helps me concentrate better.

We ended up cleaning for about 7 hours before my mom took Andy home and to pick up Felix. I kept cleaning for another hour.

The surprise was complete. The cleaning was not. And although I didn't get everything done, I did get a lot done. Brent was pleased and extremely relaxed from spending the day playing video games with his best friend.

So after spending the late evening with our friends Jason and Char, we brought Felix home, put him to bed, and then talked till very late.

The thing is, marriage is difficult. Part of this is because people naturally communicate differently from each other - at least at the start. Brent and I have had a rocky time, mainly because we're just two very different people. We argue and we get our feelings hurt and we talk it out and we make progress.

I am fortunate to be married to a person who absolutely wants to be a good husband and father. He wants to get better. He wants to build an eternal marriage with me.

I know that there are no guarantees, and that our life together will very probably contain many difficult times in the years to come. But I know that I am meant to be with him. This is where we belong. And it is enough.

So no fanfare on two years together. Just an assurance that this is where we need to be, and a calm joy knowing that we both want the same thing.


Jane @ What About Mom? said...

Wow, I'd like a wife like you! My strategy lately is to let the house get so bad that Tom is happy to clean with me. Works pretty well, except when we end up spending a couple hours on Sunday shoveling out.

I like what you say about marriage. The only thing you HAVE to be in agreement about is that you want the marriage to succeed and each other to be happy. Everything else is negotiable.

Dirtius Wifius said...

That cleaning strategy wouldn't work with Brent. :)

Jeff & Tran said...

You are an amazing person. Marriage is about togetherness and if you both agree that your marriage is what you both want, then that's good enough. I think two people who share a life together will spend the rest of their lives learning and growing together. It is a never ending process but if you both have the same goal, then anything is possible.
Congratulations for your happiness.. It truly is an eternal bliss for the both of you.

jenica said...

that knowledge that you belong with brent will be your foundation in the difficult times. you rock.